5 Things I Recently Learned About Dogs

I spent all weekend working at DragCon which was hysterical and intense but all around fun, despite leaving me extremely visually fatigued.

However, I did learn a few things about dogs as I scanned my phone for reading material in bored lulls. Thus, here are five recent things that I learned about dogs, things you might not have known.

Dogs Can Masturbate
In researching why my dog Scooter excuses himself every evening to hate-fuck his dog bed, I had a stumbling moment of truth: dogs can masturbate. My little dog baby hasn’t been going to get his hump on just because he could but because he literally wants to get off. “Most people don’t realize that this behavior isn’t limited to intact male dogs,” I learned. “Nor do they know that neutered males can display erections and ejaculate just like intact males.” That’s exactly it because his little fuck baby bed has some “stains” on it. There’s nothing more special about dog father/motherhood than discovering your child’s voracious sexual appetite.

Puerto Rico Has A Dog Problem
Don’t remember how I found this but my homeland apparently has a huge problem with abandoned dogs. The issue is so bad that there is an area on the island called “Dead Dog Beach,” where pups are dumped off to die. This is due to  economic struggles on the island and no other means of handling the extraneous cost of pet ownership. Yes, this is devastating; however, there are organizations like The Sato Project who are working very hard to save these needy dogs.

Puppy Play
The only indirect dog story, I finally dug into BDSM culture to discover what exactly Puppy Play is. And what is it? A submissive style of sex role play where a dom is the master and the sub literally acts like a dog. I’ve seen canine leather masks before at sex shops but never thought to dig into it. Thus, for those as curious as I was after watching handfuls of dog faced dudes walk past us at DragCon, read a fairly sanitary dive into the subject over on Pride.com and do a more in depth dive into the subject on this site for new pups.

Don’t Hug Your Dog
We all saw that New York Times story on dog hugging—but did we think it was real? I thought it was bullshit but, after reading up on it and catching myself hugging my dogs as they wiggled out, I realized they do hate hugs. One of my dogs growls while the other one whines her way out of it: that’s because they are stressed out and uncomfortable. If you want to try to change them, hug them, then give them a treat. Maybe I will try that with my growling baby (which is the same baby who has a masturbation problem).

Leo’s Origin Story
Remember how the Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary is the happiest place on the Internet? I have an update, for you fans of the page like me: you know their big fluffy dude Leo? Turns out the page revealed his origin story in photos. If you are curious and have some time, it’s definitely worth a read. That Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary is a gift that keeps on giving.

Photo via.

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