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A Breakdown Of The New RuPaul’s Drag Race Cast

It’s that time! The new cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race season eight has been announced. So who are they? Twelve exciting and not-exciting, predictable and unpredictable queens.

To help you understand who is who, see below for a handy breakdown accompanying their initial interview videos (which are very, very sillily produced and generally awful—so don’t fault some of these queens for not looking great on camera). You’ll also get what you really want to know: what queens from previous seasons they will remind you of, if they are hot (or not) outside of drag, and if they have a chance to win. Feast, fags and fagettes.

Queen: Acid Betty
Cast Math: (Nina Flowers / Yara Sofia) + The Princess
Out-Of-Drag Hotness: Cute-ish recovering goth man. I’d kiss him.
Impressions: The youngest “old person” to ever be in a cast: Betty is only 37 but they’ve obviously cast her as the old geez. Also, fun fact for reality TV fans: you’ll recognize Betty from her appearance on Project Runway season five, episode six.

Queen: Bob The Drag Queen
Cast Math: Latrice RoyaleAdore Delano‘s entire body
Out-Of-Drag Hotness: He’s cute—but is he Titus Andromedon? (However, he’s cursed by a drag trend: a septum piercing.)
Impressions: Bob seems like a lot of fun! He has a killer sense of humor and, despite a seemingly shit wig, will likely go very far.

Queen: Chi Chi DeVayne
Cast Math: The Southern charm of Stacy Layne Matthews + the mental capacity of Gia Gunn
Out-Of-Drag Hotness: If this is him, he would make an excellent parody porn actor in a nineties R&B themed “film” about Babyface.
Impressions: Funny that his name is after a Too Wong Fu character because Chi Chi looks like a boy in a dress. Sweet, maybe slow, but a boy in a dress.

Queen: Cynthia Lee Fontaine
Cast Math: Alexis Mateo + (Tempest DuJour / Sasha Belle)
Out-Of-Drag Hotness: Is that you, long haired Frankie Grande?
Impressions: Like Chi Chi before her, sweet—but not a lot going on. Bye, girl.

Queen: Derrick Barry
Cast Math: Literally Willam + Literally Courtney Act
Out-Of-Drag Hotness: Impressively, potato next door.
Impressions: Seems nice? The most interesting fact is that he talked about how he is in a throuple. You can bet that will be a huge fucking storyline because just being gay or being trans or being queer is so “boring”: bringing some throuple dude who looks like Brit Brit is the new means to subvert. I can already hear Chi Chi giving the soundbite, “You got two boyfriends? Nah-uh.”

Queen: Dax Exclamationpoint
Cast Math: Post-loss Phi Phi O’Hara + (A serious Sharon Needles / The temperament of Max)
Out-Of-Drag Hotness: Umm…the dark skinned brother of Alaska?
Impressions: Dax seems legit cool as a person but the cosplay wantings is giving me serious Sasha Belle concerns. Don’t be that one trick pony no one wants to ride, girl.

Queen: Kim Chi
Cast Math: (A subdued Manilla Luzon + Trixie Mattel‘s makeup but better) + Mathu Andersen
Out-Of-Drag Hotness: If David Chang were a drag queen.
Impressions: Easily top three. Easy. She just has to prove she’s better than Trixie. I love Kim Chi and have actually been a fan of hers for a while.

Queen: Laila McQueen
Cast Math: Literally Adore Delano + Raven
Out-Of-Drag Hotness: This is the closest I can get and all I see is Detox.
Impressions: Eh. Call me when she wakes up.

Queen: Naomi Smalls
Cast Math: (Milk + Max + Pearl + Raja + Miss Fame + Violet Chachki) + YouTuber MyLifeAsEva
Out-Of-Drag Hotness: He is Lohanthony plus Marcus Scribner and I want to kiss him.
Impressions: This is going to be the season’s breakout in a big way. No, Naomi will not and cannot win but she will be the aesthetic Tumblr queen that ends up booking high fashion gigs.

Queen: Naysha Lopez
Cast Math: (Kandy Ho / Alyssa Edwards / Coco Montrese) + Miss Fame
Out-Of-Drag Hotness: ErrrrmmmmRaven Symone?
Impressions: I would love to see this queen and Miss Fame compete in taking the SATs.

Queen: Robbie Turner
Cast Math: (The personality of Jade Jolie + The aesthetics of BenDeLaCreme) + Magnolia Crawford
Out-Of-Drag Hotness: I’ve looked at so many drag queens in and out of drag doing research for this that all I see in Robbie Turner is a common gay man.
Impressions: An easy contender for Miss Congeniality! Robbie seems sweet and cute and definitely like the person who will get the note “Do more than just your 1960s schtick!” more than twice.

Queen: Thorgy Thor
Cast Math: If Katya still boozed + The positivity of Jinxk Monsoon
Out-Of-Drag Hotness: Apparently this is Thorgy, which is giving me a lot of “If Keith Haring was a theatre nerd…” vibes.
Impressions: Thorgy could go far and has an irresistible happiness to her. Is she exciting enough? I don’t know. If she can live up to her premise of being a “fashion clown,” she’ll be safe—I just have doubts she can do that.

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