I need a new backpack. Or do I? I have so many. It’s close to Christmas and I shouldn’t be spending but I do need a bag. I do! I walk and bus to work so I need something that is comfortable and durable but stylish and not too expensive.
Do you have any bag suggestions? I ask because I keep looking at bags that cost over two hundred dollars and are clearly not made for a person who takes the bus for nearly three hours a day. They’re pretty, though. They are bags that I would love to have if I were rich and didn’t need them to be utilitarian. Sure, I could buy one of these—but I don’t need to. Protect me from what I want. Protect me from an idle credit card. Protect me from online retailers.
So, as therapy, here are five bags that I would like to buy even though they are not a good fit for me and are things I shouldn’t even consider buying. Look at them so I can stop looking at them, please.
The shiny leather on this bag is just so pretty. Wouldn’t this look nice on my back? I can guarantee it is uncomfortable and won’t hold that much. Also: it’s a rucksack and has to be worn with both straps, not slung on one. You can only carry it by the handles for so long, too. How will this look with a coat? Not good. This is not a good bag for me. It’s pretty! But it is not good. I love how childish it is. Can I buy Dr. Martens’ boots to match? I’ve never owned a pair and this seems like a good opportunity to invest.
This bag is dumb but it’s pretty and it has a lot going on and is almost exactly what I have now (meaning it is also a strapped structured tote in camo). Here’s the thing: it’s good looking and would be a great bag but it would not work because it will be a heavy burden for a shoulder. I walk twenty minutes to my bus and I bus for anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour: I don’t want this shit on my shoulder. It also is slightly formless. I need more structure, something boxier. I love the style of this bag but it is not for me.
Topo makes great bags! This—like the last one—is a pretty strapped annoyance. It’s so cute, though! It feels like a bag for a child but made for a man. This is also fairly affordable as it’s less than a hundred dollars. Would this bag work for me? Not at all.
This is fun because it’s a combination of a long tote with a book bag. It would be a cool bag to wear! The simplicity of it and bright red adds more to love but—Really.—this is for someone dude who fake hikes and can afford to be sweaty. I’m using this bag to go to work. I can’t be a sweater mountain dude as I walk into work. Not a good look. I have some doubts about how it handles various weather, too.
This is the cool brother to the Dr. Martens bag! The roll top is cool and the polyurethane/polyester material it’s made from is quite durable. Of all the bags, this one seems the most like something I could actually use. I like that it’s kind of work friendly S&M gear. Athletic? Yes—and maybe to a fault. Fancy? Fairly, yes. Durable? Absolutely as Opening Ceremony describes it as “conceived to survive the designer’s speed-boat commute into Stockholm.” This could work! It’s $300, though. Is it that worth it? Probably not. Maybe if this goes on sale?
Do I need a new bag? No. But I want one! I need something more comfortable for long travel bouts. I’ll just buy another vintage airliner, I guess. Why hasn’t anyone made a nice, contemporary airliner?