A Penis Tattoo Isn’t That Bad

If you got drunk and got a tattoo of a penis on your upper thigh, would you be mad about it? Or would your significant other be mad about it? That actually happened to an English guy who is making headlines for his penile ink. Why is this such a bad thing, though?!

First, it’s funny. Second, it’s just a dick. Third, my favorite tattoo ever happens to be of a dick on a thigh: this is my favorite tattoo. Perhaps it’s the style, perhaps it’s the shorts, perhaps it’s the fact that I wish that I looked like this dude. It takes a certain amount of effort and skill to wear an ink dick out at all times. It’s tough for me to wear shirts that have curse words on them—or to even hold hands in public. Obviously with my shorts, I’m not a very visually shy person: I’m ostentatious in a very delicate way. The penis tattoo of my dreams? That would be a bit much.

Yet, it’s not bad. Even the funny, crude kid version this drunk man had is lovable. All tattoos of penises are lovable because penises are lovable. There’s something about this story that feels remarkably sexist and anti-man. Or maybe it’s just overwhelmingly conservative. If you want to wear your dick or boobs or pussy or ass out, do it. Why does it matter? We’ve all seen them before and we all have them. If you want to wear an inky version of that, do it. Who gives a shit?

If your partner leaves you because of a penis tattoo, that person sucks. Where is their sense of humor? Also, wear fucking pants dude or get a new tattoo. I like it. A tattoo of a penis isn’t that bad. Give me a penis tattoo on my thigh and I will be a happy (But self-conscious!) man.

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