I’m one of those people who dreams a lot but they are mostly unremarkable dreams, dreams that revel in the mundane or are instantly forgettable. My dreams are neither fantastical (No flying, no superpowers.) nor transportive (No exit locations, no long lost friends.) yet they do tend to dip into the boring (Walking, waiting.) and the sexy (Hotel rendezvous, intense glances.).
My dreams aren’t weird. They are more or less boring and, if you popped into my brain as they happened, you would be very underwhelmed. If they were movies, they would be be catalogued between the horribly made The Room and the painfully boring (But good looking!) Electroma. You would probably walk out or fall asleep, if someone subjected you to them.
Recently, this has all changed. I’ve been having a lot of intense (“intense”) dreams and dreams where I wake up mad or scared or as if I want to start all over again with my sleep. These aren’t bad dreams as much as they are fucking weird, some entering nightmare territories that I have not visited since I was a child. They don’t recur (Although there are recurring elements!) and they don’t happen every night although all of the more colorful dreams have occurred in the past month or so. Perhaps I’m stressed? Perhaps my diet is off? Perhaps there is a battle between people in my mind that are fighting to control my mind? I have no idea and I dare not dream dictionary any of these because I don’t really care. They’re just ridiculous enough that I have to write them down, to log them in some capacity.
Thus, here is a running list of weird dreams I’ve recently had. They are in no particular order.
The Walking Dream(s)
A recurring dream, this dream is about the most boring adventures: I walk around a city or place. It could be a foreign city I’ve visited (Milan, for instance.) or some cinder block staircase akin to the staircase the men descend in that horrible Mullholland Drive scene before they get the life scared out of them (which, funny enough, was a dream). These dreams have recurred my entire life and typically end in a pratfall, where I miss a step and fall or simply walk and walk and walk on a never ending sunny day that suggests an afterlife for me where I explore. That’s sweet.
The Big Hole, Circling & Circling
You’ve stared at a drain, haven’t you? Sometimes, that’s what my dreams are: a big hole, akin to a drain, circling and circling. It’s not fast, it’s not dizzying, it just is. There’s no reason for it, there’s not even a human presence to it: it just is a big hole that is being circled around, a void, a nothing, a portal. Is this death? What does it mean, Stephen King?
This is less of a direct dream and more of a concluding “scene.” Like the walking, like the big hole, the V has been something that has recurred my entire life: it’s a V-shaped runway where the adjoining point of the two lines in the V meet at my point of view as if staring at two paths with a single pivot point – and the pivot point is my gaze. There is usually a single person or thing using this path and, once they exit from the right side, they come back on the left side. It’s very cartoonish and, often, the people using the V are exaggerated humanoid cartoons instead of real people. They end with excitement, at the pivot point, by way of a punch in my face / into the gaze or a strange pushing their face into the gaze, as if there is a mirror. This dream had disappeared since my childhood but has recently returned.
The Mean Killer Who Doesn’t Kill
I’m in a house with some people (friends, family, co-workers, etc.) but one of them I do not know. This person is a killer. I know it, I tell people, I’m wary and worried, but he doesn’t actually kill people: he’s just mean. He just spends the entire time in this house with everyone I know being mean. The way he’s mean isn’t extraordinary as it’s strictly verbal and no one seems too bothered by the happening to care that there is a Mean Killer who doesn’t kill in our presence.
The Mean Killer Who Actually Does Kill
A variation on The Mean Killer Who Doesn’t Kill dream, this Mean Killer actually goes (“goes”) there. He does the same things but the twist is that his talking in a mean way is actually encouraging violence and distress. He pushes and pushes everyone literally and figuratively closer together, trying to get someone to lose their mind or get everyone to break, devolving into a brawl. The inevitable (violence, destruction, harm) never happens but the dream crescendos to the closest point possible where someone could actually get hurt.
Everyone Hates Kyle
This was the first truly bizarre dream, where I realized that this wasn’t the normally mundane shit and that this dream was something extraordinary although it was quite mentally unnerving. It all has to do with a loss of credibility or power: I’m working a job in an idealized small town. I get fired from said job in a very dramatic fashion for something I didn’t do by way of a person (A man.) who schemed to have me kicked out and who then leads a campaign to drive me out of this idealized small town. They vilify and humiliate me in many ways and eventually arrange for a group of elementary school kids to literally vomit on me (That “scene” actually happened in the dream. It wasn’t talk: kids vomited on me.) before driving me out of town. I’m left distraught and mad but ultimately helpless. I drag my feet to Bobby, telling him how terrible things are. While everything is indeed bad, the floor of the situation drops as Bobby literally shrugs off the problems, saying something to the effect of “Sucks for you.” before literally ignoring me for good. This dream is ridiculous, yes, but it was the most nightmarish of the bunch. I woke up stressed and angry, the mood of the dream following me for hours. Note that I typically shake off dreams in seconds. This one was different.
Evil Montel Williams
My family and Bobby and I go on vacation to some seemingly old person house in some boring place that seems like either rural Florida or South Jersey. Everyone appears to be happy. The dogs are there too. The house is furnished with white wicker and faded flower upholstery. It seems like the Golden Girls live here. I’m not too happy to be here. Montel Williams shows up with a big laundry bag, which may or may not be filled with dogs. My dad is very happy to see him. We all hang out with Montel Williams. As the first night of a vacation goes, we all stay up late talking and hanging out and having a drink or two. We all go to our respective rooms to sleep. Montel Williams sleeps in the living room. He is very loud. Everyone starts getting up. Montel Williams now has dogs. The dogs are shitting everywhere. I let the dogs out. Montel Williams scolds me and calls me a faggot. It’s giggle-worthy but not funny. Montel Williams keeps going. I step outside with the dogs to block him out. I return and now everyone’s calling me a faggot. I tell them how rude and inappropriate this is but no one listens. My dad eventually makes a big production of calling me a faggot before excusing himself to his room. I go to my room, where Bobby is, and he isn’t mad or happy with the situation but says that I shouldn’t take it too seriously. I tell him Montel Williams is mean and return to the living room, where Montel Williams calls me a faggot again as a dog shits behind him. (Note: my family has never taken a vacation. Once my parents, sister, and I went to Disney when I was 21. That was it.)
Fired From Nothing
I’m working a job at a website that, obviously, has pivoted to video. This company and offices are big with long hallways that had little rooms attached to them, like edit bays. I work upstairs. My direct report is a woman who is always in a shadow. I hate working there. The place shifts from a normal, sunny space to something that is darker and darker and, in many ways, more like a house than an office. I get frustrated at some point and go downstairs, to try to talk to people who understand me better. The downstairs is now in ruins, vacant, full of debris and construction. I return upstairs and realize I had already quit this job and that I was just “here” for some reason. There are few people in the office now except for this shadow woman boss and now a shadow man boss, a person who was actually modeled after a boss I did have. The two ignore me and a restaurant appears in one of the rooms. It is also dark. Another room, the shadow woman’s office, is now a lacy dim bedroom. Everyone is doing busywork, waiting for me to do something while disguising that they’re trying to pack, to leave this place. I call them out and tell them this place is dumb and that I quit. They act surprised and upset. I leave but, instead of exiting, I wander down the dark hallway. Everyone is relieved because they “didn’t have to fire me” although I had already quit two times over and they were doing what they could to push me out without saying what they wanted.
Dreams are weird, dudes.
The one thing I can tell from this is that clearly I’m having some insecurity or confusion regarding status? All of these have to do with some element of being defamed or disparaged. Projection perhaps?