An Anal Sex Primer

I often wonder about anal sex. Not specifically about the practice but about other’s practice and frequency and general thoughts on the matter. As a gay man, it’s kind of expected that “we have lots of anal sex.” Yet, for straight and not-straight enquiring minds, that is just a myth because everyone only enjoys so much anal play.

The thing about anal sex is that it’s not something easy to do for anyone, at least not at first. That’s why this Reddit thread was so fascinating and exciting to read: gay or not, we all have similar feelings about the sexual activity. It also kind of serves as a crash course in understanding your sexual limits. Thanks to redditor SissyLamuire, an honest question was posed:

I’m a 25 year old male and I’ve only slept with one other man. I loved kissing him, blowing him and touching him but I really didn’t enjoy anal. It just feels like I’m taking a shit and thats really not sexy. Will I ever get used to this? Real advice from someone who had tried anal would be deeply appreciated. Thanks! (:

The question is something that lots of gay man want to know but don’t ask because—again—it feels like we’re expected to turn our brown town into the male honey pot. The commentary is spectacular and (sadly) quickly turns into some bigoted, stupid ass nonsense that thankfully was moderated off the page. A lot of the offerings are wonderfully straightforward (“Sometimes it feels good to me and sometimes it doesn’t.”), some that embrace taking a hard line of accepting the non-norm (“You may not ever enjoy it. I hate anal and will not allow it under any circumstance. It’s okay not to like it.”), realistic attitudes about the cultural assumptions (“Just because you are gay/bi doesn’t mean you have to like it.”), and practical advice (“Use lots of lube. There’s no such thing as too much lube for anal.”; “Aside from what everyone else has suggested (lube, relaxation, foreplay, etc), realize that there are two rings of muscle in there.”). If you’ve ever been curious about how anal sex works and how it feels for gay men—culturally and physically, for anyone—this is a great read.

Don’t take all of this as hard fact—but do most definitely let this thread guide you into a further conversation with yourself about anal sex. It’s a good look at the practice, something that should relieve any pressure you may feel to do it in this regard. If you do or don’t want to have anal, great: let this thread reaffirm or quell those desires.

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