Ban Men, Ban Guns

Before you read: write or call your congressperson right now.

I can’t stop thinking about guns. I can’t stop thinking about how much I hate them and how much I hate anyone who is supportive of them. It’s a problem. It isn’t cute anymore nor is it funny. Guns are a big fucking problem in the United States, one that is both killing our country and killing our reputation of being both a civil and forward thinking nation. Guns have quickly turned us terrible.

So what now? What can I as a little dude in Los Angeles without any connection to politics do to right the years and near decades of violence, specifically at schools and by police officers? I’ve donated all that I can to Everytown For Gun Safety. I’ve lamented over drinks with friends about how fucked up we are as a country. I plan to vote for Hilary—Or WHOEVER supports no guns and women’s rights. What else can I do? I can Tweet and talk about these problems but I don’t think anything is being done. I feel like I’m an outsider in this conversation. Isn’t everyone? Isn’t that the point of clicktivism?

This would be different if I was a man with a gun. Then you can do whatever you want, apparently. Nearly a week after the Umpqua Community College shooting, I still can’t get over what happened. It’s exhausting. We’ve gotten to the point that crying for the end of guns is so beyond broken record status that we as a culture have are numbly habituated and bored by the subject. So how do we fix this? We’ve had no calendar week without a *mass* shooting in almost four years: how in the fuck do we fix this?

The only thing I can think of is to ban men. I know: this is ridiculous and borderline crass—but listen. Men have done all these shootings. Men are supporting guns. Men are the dudes behind this. Not any men, no: white straight dudes. They are behind guns. They have money and they have rage and they have something going on that we as a nation will never be able to solve because the white fucking straight ass man is who is in charge. The man is killing us repeatedly. He doesn’t care who he kills. He just does. It’s expected of him now. Perhaps his constant murdering is his response to becoming a minority himself, a loud and dangerous fall from the top. He has no other options in his emotionless stressed state to do anything else but kill. He can get a gun before he can get counseling so why not kill others and yourself before trying to fix a problem? Be a man, be a gunman. Push that easy button over nine times and rid yourself of it all. Easy.

Why just men? Why not women? Why not gay men? Why white men? Well, white dudes are the problem and they are clearly not the solution. As virality has shown us, it’s easier to get a gun than it is to get an abortion. While numbers are (SOMEHOW.) up in gun support, women and minorities want to curb use while white men want to keep on keeping on. Yes, it is more complicated than saying all women don’t want guns but—as stats show us—the profile of a mass murder is almost always a white dude.

This is a ridiculous argument. It is ridiculous to say that our gun problems are related to a sex and “race” that believe they are in control and resultantly are trying to cope. Let’s not forget things like police killings: white dudes are killing us all. They don’t care. They get a gun, they use a gun. Us non-white straight men are not down with this. Some of us are—but none of us are acting on fucking ridiculous premises like killing people. That is never right. That is never a solution. We can try to cure these men but, really, they are incurable. They don’t listen. If they don’t adhere to what you as a wife / girlfriend or you as the president of our country say, they won’t listen to anyone. They don’t care! They are obviously very much still in charge and there is nothing we can do about it until their guns are taken away—or they are taken away.

So. Ban men to ban guns. Kick fucking white straight dudes out of the conversation and we’ve solved the problem because they are the problem. I cannot think of any other way that we can do this. I’m tired of this. I don’t know what else to do besides have my rant against white guys because they seem to be the problem. Maybe they need empathy classes from gay men or we need to start a reverse suffragette movement to bar white men from rights. Who knows. We all are beyond the point of realizing that these men are the problem.

How can we fix this? How can we stop men? How can we stop guns? We’re exhausted because there is no easy answer and no one seems to be listening. Yet, I can assure you that the solution involves ripping the power from that white dick. It’s too small to be of use. It shoots blanks, anyway—unless that dick actually has a gun, which it almost always does.

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