This is not a human. Yes, that sexy man might look like some sort of person but, no, he is not a person. Don’t think about him in a sexual manner. He is not human!
This person is a doll. “He looks so human,” you say. No, I tell you. He is not. He is a doll. He is standing at the bottom part of a door. That is not the outside of a cool bar. It’s a door. He is small.
“…but he dresses better than both you and I?” I know, people. I know. He also has much better bone structure. I am aware. He is not real, to remind you. I have no idea where he is getting these cool clothes from. They are an optical illusion.
See? He can even afford Jeremy Scott sweaters. Me? Nope. He even reads Bullett. He is cool. He is so cool he isn’t even human. Can you be jealous of a doll? This is a test.
And, yes, of course he has a great body.
And a great package! Are you jealous? He is a doll.
And you would like to look like him, wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t we all. But, hey, you know what: this person, this Instagram handle @placeunknown, is a doll. This figure is not human.
Yes, he’s been written up by the Huffington Post—but he is not real. He is a parody of a culture, of gay male culture, of a body culture that hates fat versions of themselves. It’s a troll. It is a the physicalization of trolling.
“But he is with other people.”
Yes, he is. That’s because he is made up and Photoshop is really cool.
Yes, you want to know if you could fuck him and how big his dick is and if he is a top or a bottom.
Sorry: this is not a real person. You cannot pound that or have your ass pounded by this figure. This hot gay dude looking thing is not real.
In the words of Oscar Wilde—which run like a banner over all the photos in the feed—”Illusion is the first of all pleasures.”
No, this person is not human and, no, you cannot fuck it but, yes, you can follow it on Instagram. That’s what he wants.