Buy Me This Because I Cannot: Clothing Items I Am Coveting Right Now

I am in a little, poor space right now and I have been very good about looking away from all things Retail. But, today, I decided to indulge myself, to look right at the face of Capitalism and give him a kiss: these are things I want to buy, to wear, but I cannot at this moment because I do not need new clothes so I am coveting them in writing.

Most Of The JW Anderson For Uniqlo
I feel like this collection came and went but I have been eyeing it for weeks, letting it sit in my inbox like a small fire that is burning its way up, out of the archives. I want it all since I cannot afford Anderson’s non-Uniqlo works nor his works for Loewe. Perhaps this now-on-sale shirt of an androgynous hat wearer? Maybe this fishy sweater? I don’t know but I am tempted.

Acne Blue Gojina Dyed Shirt
A nearly $200 shirt that looks purple but is “blue” and has a brand name at the collar. How fucking obnoxious is that? Very. How obnoxious am I? Very. (Or maybe I need it in pink sweatshirt version? Unsure.)

Tonsure Brandy Steiff Teddy Coat
I am no bear, I am no cub. I could be a teddy if I owned this coat. A teddy coat! I will sleep in it, once the heat breaks in Los Angeles. (Also it is $858.)

Opening Ceremony Puerto Rico Bomber Jacket
My people, my brand. This jacket will make me look like a poser in many ways but it’s very much “me” and my heritage so I would like for Opening Ceremony to give it to me because hell naw do I have $400 to spend on a heavy jacket in a Los Angeles Autumn that is over 101º (in some parts of the city, it was over 115º).

032c Pink “The Beatings Will Continue” Hoodie
I’m so over Vetements that I’ve bent over backwards to disavow them, breaking my back to tell them no. But 032c? Give them to me. Discount Vetements. More original Vetements which is to say derivative in a non-obnoxious, poor-pandering way. Like the “blue” Acne shirt, this vibrational non-pinky pink with hidden graphic details feels like my Winter’s refrain.

Adam Selman’s Le Specs The Family & The Last Lolita Sunglasses
First, let me be Adam Selman. Let me be that cutie fashion patootie. Second, let me have his glasses. His Le Specs. I’d care for the carved The Family style and his nouveau-classic Last Lolita since they are so ironic sexy on anyone.

Kenzo Rainbow Bomber Jacket
Nail me to the gay fashion cross: I’m ready for you, Kenzo Rainbow Bomber Jacket. I am not a thousandaire so you will not be mine. Still, do you think of me as much as I think of you?

All Of The Ami For Gap (Courtesy Of GQ)
Every year, GQ does some collaboration with Gap where they get legit designers like NSF and Stampd to create for Gap. Weird, right? This year, as if they were listening to me, Ami was one of the collaborators and everything that came from that Frenchy point of view was golden and made with me in mind. Their trademark beanie? Yes. An adaptation of their velcro sneakers? Yes. White jeans? Yes. A camel colored sweater? Yes. It all: give me.

Malibu Sandals Canyon Two-Tone
I need more statement sandals like those Camper sandals that I own. These are a little tamer than I would prefer but they’re a step toward the more ridiculous direction, which I crave. Statement sandals: come to me. Even as we approach Winter: I am here for you.

A Silk Baseball Shirt
I know the baseball shirt is over, stolen from Stampd and the like and given to shitty people at Topshop and Forever 21, but I still want a silk version. A shiny, gaudy, gay version of the athletic shirt. I want it.

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