I drink alcohol. I do. It’s a truth. It’s something that I know is bad but, of all the things that trigger my Catholic Guilt™, alcohol very minimally aggravates my self-flagellating tendencies. Continue reading “Die, Alcohol Drinkers. Die.”
After all these years, you know why you’ve been paranoid when indulging in some marijuana? It’s because of McGruff, the eighties and nineties PSA ready Crime Dog who glowered behind droopy eyes to keep you away from a life of crime. Sadly, the police dog’s eyes have now shifted as McGruff will be watching from a heavenly venue. Continue reading “Smoke One Up: McGruff Is Dead (And Was Probably Racist)”
For a very, very long time as a result of a very, very ridiculous weed experience, I did not do anything with weed. It was a sad time. But, as I’ve aged, realizing how bad alcohol is for the system, I’ve turned my gaze to the bud to help unwind after a long day. It has been great.
I started experimenting with this form of “self-medicating” in January with the help of a Fez vaporizer. It was great! But, dang, it required constant refilling and could be messy considering it required grinding and disposal of the good shit. Blunts and bowls were great too but, alas, smoked up one’s apartment and made the act of smoking up a community affair that becomes all around you’s nasal affair. Edibles make me insane and I really wasn’t interested in topically administered marijuana. Where does that leave us? With vaping.
America’s favorite douche-tivity is a tough sell for me. It’s not sexy, it’s reeks of EDM complacencies, and often appears that you are fellating an invisible robot with rectangular testicles. Not cute. Moreover, how does one “test out” vaping a weed? I had this discussion with my weed person at the weed store and we landed on vaping via a “pen” (or e-cigarette) as the best solution. Her prescription was to test out vaping weed with a disposable pen. Why not? The result was introducing me to an LA based brand called Bloom – and they are great.
I got their single serving weed pen which is a sleek, white metal tube that looks like a minimalist cigarette. It reminds of the classic one hitter smoking devices but produces an elegant, airy white smoke and requires zero banging out of ash. There is a tiny vessel of concentrated weed oil and, despite seeming minimal, using the device a few times a week lasts you roughly two or three months. If memory serves me correctly, it cost less than $20 too. It made smoking up so much easier, so much more refined, and like something that is cool to do instead of something that is so mired by the baggage of pothead culture. It’s a sophisticated product.
After falling in love with the disposable (which, while great, is entirely wasteful – and inspired me to send an email to the company about recycling opportunities), I decided to up my game and get a non-disposable version of the product. It’s just as sleek and uses disposable cartridges that, while great, are cheaper, plastic versions of the more elegant disposable pen. Still: the device delivers the same high, lasts longer, and comes in a cute clam shell case that fits into any bag easily for on-the-go indulgence. It is truly fabulous.
This has changed how I hang out. All ideas of smoking or the weight of weed culture has been eliminated as I can pick up this item whenever I want for a little puff. It’s perfect from “micro dosing” or for totally baking out at home. I find myself replacing a glass of wine for a few puffs of the Bloom pen followed by a silly TV show, a bad horror movie, or a compilation of bygone Vines via YouTube. It’s a perfect weeknight relaxer or weekend playmate.
Moreover, it’s a particularly non-cheesy weed something. We’re entering an era of luxury smoking that steps weed up to the demands of the fancy and design focused. Bloom slides into this as their branding sets them as a brunch friendly, easy living associated weed something for twenty and thirtysomethings of a certain economic, urban mindset. It’s for the West Hollywood It folk and the Downtown art people, the Brooklyn graphic design types and the Mission District faux luxurists: it’s a brand making weed applications for Millennials concerned with lifestyle (which, truly, I am).
That’s why this brand and these devices have changed how I hang out: they’ve seemingly met me where I was confused or uneasy with weed and offered an application of the substance that fit into “my aesthetic.” It’s lovely and I cannot recommend this easily pocketed, kindly discreet way of getting high. Sadly, it’s only available and California and Washington at the moment but appears to be poised to expand soon and, hopefully, they do. It has thankfully answered my question of finding a parallel way of consuming a weed that was akin to enjoying a glass of wine. I didn’t think it was possible but, alas, Bloom did that for me – and might do that for you too.
For those of us without a cleaning person or parent picking up after, keeping a clean house can be a third job to follow your real job, to follow your myriad side-hustles. It’s an entire universe of a “to-do” to add to your “to-dos.” Continue reading “Recommendation: Get High & Clean Your Apartment”
I travel through life nose first. It is my defining sense, my defining feature. Continue reading “Nose First”
Sometimes, I smell. I cannot help it because, like you, I have sweat glands. Unfortunately mine are a tad more excitable and pronounced at times. Continue reading “Do You Smell?”
Do you need you some new underclothes? We all do, let’s be honest. Continue reading “Get You Some New Undies: Four Underwear Brands To Slip Into”