Digital Dream Diary, June 2018

This may be the Summer of my wildest dreams which, really, is exactly what it sounds like: my dreams have been wild.

What does that mean? It means I’ve been having a few things in my night mind that jump out as unique experiences that me, myself, and I have been intrigued by. What do I do with this? I share it! Because these probably mean more than I realize but I don’t have anything else to do with them.

Enjoy! Let me know what you think.

Monday, 6.4.2018, Los Angeles, CA
I didn’t go to bed angry but I became angry in my sleep. This wasn’t a dream as much as it was a feeling as if a red cloud that kept blinking in my face all night until it woke me, stirring me to anger.

Wednesday, 6.6.2018, Los Angeles, CA
My aunt Colleen is having a wedding at some fancy and remote hotel. We keep drinking a lot and there is talking of joining some sort of activist group that we don’t stand with. We’re joking though but those around us have no idea. We go shopping and we almost buy a store. There is a dark underground part of the mall that is weird. Our stay draws to an end and some Trumpian political bullshit happens that leaves everyone at the hotel arrested in shock. An old woman commands the floor, to lament how much of a fuck up Trump is. The wedding eventually happens and lots of people from my MFA program are there. It’s in a field that is an accidental farm, where green tomatoes and green corn grow. Behind where the altar is located is a cascading hill of peas. “They’re peas!” I announce. No one believes me until my friend Heather joins my investigation, telling everyone they just really might be peas.

Saturday, 6.9.2018, Los Angeles, CA
I’m on some work trip in Los Angeles. I’m staying at this seemingly shitty nineties Four Seasons that is also a school. A ton of 2000s era celebrities like Rachel Leoih Cook are there — but they work there. I got to my floor and there are paramedics. My room — 502 — and is a classroom. I realize I was never told a room but that I assumed this was my room because it was on my bag. Denise Richards walks in my room with her family, to get ready for school. I let them have it but protest that the room is mine. I talk to a cute housekeeping person who looks like my friend Dan. “Oh,” he says, testing my card. “This is your room!” He takes me to a room with a panoramic view of a bay. It has a patio jacuzzi. “Do you mind?” the guy asks, taking off his pants to reveal a speedo. He is totally my type and I hope things happen where we can have sex. Matthew Orly is on the patio and has the room next door. He walks over to me to take a photo of us together and notes how wild the view is. I go to meet my press group and we grt on a little bus to head downtown but we end up going to another hotel, the same brand but in Inland Empire.

Sunday, 6.10.2018, Los Angeles, CA
Bobby works at some behemoth like Amazon and I have some sort of gig there too where I occasionally bring the dogs in and stress that they will misbehave. The office is like a giant Wal-Mart meets E3, where every office is a themed station from a video game. My hangout is in a Street Fighter area. After some dramatics, the essences of companies like Amazon get confused and all their brand touchstones and characters influence people at other companies, sort of like when the Halloween people in Nightmare Before Christmas suddenly turn Christmas-y — but the change is inadvertent, unwanted, and unexpected.

Monday, 6.11.2018, Los Angeles, CA
Some sort of dream about a performance. A lot of running around.

Tuesday, 6.12.2018, Los Angeles, CA
This PR person I occasionally work with, Jon, is doing PR for a play. I have a baby crush on him, mostly because he fits into my type and is fun to be around. At the play, he gives me special attention and actually sets out to get drinks on the books. We set a date and he’s all sorts of handsy. I can’t believe an interaction like this is happening and I embrace it, believing it is too good to be true. Sure enough, it was just a dream.

Wednesday, 6.13.2018, Los Angeles, CA
I am looking for a job. I apply to a few places and get an interview at the gallery MB to work with Johnny McGovern’s agent. I have two interviews back to back and am late to both. Although I’m too late to qualify for the McGovern interview, I go and they love me but can’t give me the job but I hang out with them. Then I am hanging out with Charli XCX and we have a great time and I interview her but neglect to ask her about the Rita Ora “Girls” controversy. I go to school. It’s hard! I’ve barely done my homework and I’m already sensing I will fail. I cry and think I am a “dumb bitch.” I try to get in with the teacher who is an artist represented by MB and then realize I never interviewed there: I got the name wrong.

Thursday, 6.14.2018, Los Angeles, CA
There is a month of queer programming happening that sound really cool. I work at a little agency on a main street that is hosting some events, one being a nude dinner party. I Decide to attend. I go and everyone is nice and it initially starts clothed. I sit down to dinner and blackout. The next day is a bottoming (or toy play) workshop. I attend in the hopes of being able to bottom better. The dildo I bring is flimsy and I realize is breaking at the base. We head to the workshop by shared ride and everyone is excited. I motice a strip club is beneath our offices. A woman places her ass out the window. We laugh.

Sunday, 6.17.2018, Los Angeles, CA
I am in an avant garde dance troupe. We travel around the world and I am in love with this job. I got in through some backdoor way, like being a superfan who was allowed to participate. We stay up all night in hotels and I seem to always be awake, going to bed with everyone only to chat into early morning. The group is very international and very very young but somehow I am one of them. My parents watch the shows, Bobby watches the shows, Kristen watches the shows. Eventually, Kristen starts hanging out with me and the dance troupe but is sending strange vibes for some reason. We get dinner and it is revealed that she doesn’t like what I’m doing and hates the troupe and thinks I’ve been a bad friend who talks too much about what he’s doing. While these latter items may be true, I deliver back the same thing to her, that we’re both culpable. I take a sip of champagne and blink and open my eyes and she’s gone, in a car fleeing the scene, crying. I run out to grab her but she’s gone. I return to pay the waitresses and find we’ve been drinking mini bottles of that Marie Antoinette strawberry champagne.

Tuesday, 6.19.2018, Los Angeles, CA
I’m in a foreign country that is America. I’m trying to travel by bus but the process is a disaster. There are many hills and confusing routes. I exit where I think I am supposed to be only to find a strange house where everyone seems to be in limbo, awaiting instruction. I am very annoyed but have no easy exit, given the bus system.

Wednesday, 6.20.2018, Los Angeles, CA
I’m searching for a swim suit from these not-terrible stores underneath a commercial version of my old apartment complex. I can’t find them somehow and I’m in another country and am following entertainment news. My friend and editor Lindsay emails about a story. I can’t read it but call her on a pay phone to take the job.

Saturday, 6.23.2018, Los Angeles, CA
I have a major story coming out that the New York Times kind of spoiled. I dreamt about it all night and that I was emailing my editor about it.

Sunday, 6.24.2018, Los Angeles, CA
Bears in California. I watch them but do not touch.

Monday, 6.25.2018, Los Angeles, CA
I’m a teacher. I have a class of three boys then two girls are added. I bike to school. I leave my bike but realize I didn’t lock it. I go to check and it’s gone. I inquire within the bike store nearby if they have seen it. They have me refill tires. I have a boyfriend although I am dating Bobby. I realize I know nothing about him and that I don’t love him as much as Bobby. I want to love this boyfriend more but also…Bobby. I dump him (or ghost him!) to focus on loving Bobby more.

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