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Do We Need The Selfie Cork?

You are with friends. You want to take a photo of the group. You have a bottle of wine. What do you do?

You get the Selfie Cork, dummy. What is that? A Kickstarted “universal bottle stopper that turns any standard bottle into a monopod for hands-free tabletop photos and videos.” The Swiss Army approved wine stopper was created by Los Angeles based private chef and caterer David Schoen as a means to take that selfie-while-drinking game to another level.

I’ve been seeing this product fucking everywhere in town, from wine shops to boutiques, likely as a result of Schoen being local. The product intends to replace the Corksicle as the functional silly booze tool that everyone will gift each other.

But the question: do we really need this thing?

OK, sure: we all love taking photos and videos. I get it. We are the selfie generation or whatever absurd, gross moniker you want to give millennials. I get it. We want to Instagram our Facebook Twitter feed on Snapchat. Sure. But will a supposed cork replace an arm at a dinner table? Doubtful.

But you know what it is better than? A damn selfie stick. It’s discrete and fun and firmly positions itself as a utilitarian wine tool that can take a photo, removing your arm or a metallic arm from the process.

It is ten dollars (Expensive!!) but is very cleanly, basically designed (Nice!) that, if you forget to selfie with it, you’ll likely remember to use it to stop your wine.

So, again: do we need the Selfie Cork? No, we do not. Will you use it at a dinner party if you have one? Probably not, because you will forget you own it. Will you gift this to an aunt or friend who takes too many photos and shares their entire everything related to drinking on social media? Sure! Why not.

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