Dog News! Here Is Some Dog News For You!

Dogs. They are great non-human humans that I love. I could write about dogs all day, all night, all life, all death: I love dogs so much that I want to be a dog so that means I literally read every article I can find about dogs. So? Here is some dog news for you that I wanted to highlight. DOG NEWS.

Your Dog Can Tell When Someone Is Mean To You
I feel like we all know this: dogs can sense when someone is being mean to you and, to express this dissatisfaction, they ignore mean people. Good for you, dogs! If only it were so easy to just “ignore” mean people in our lives. Also, mind the cues of your dog trying to articulate that someone is a shitty fucking friend. Noted.

Boy Who Wrote To His Beloved Pet In ‘Doggie Heaven’ Gets Incredible Reply
I normally hate this shit. But I like this shit because it involves human creativity. I will always accept that over this fucking bullshit, which is sweet but like so sweet that I kind of want to have all my teeth extracted, use my bare gums to grind them to a dust, and use that dust to them dry my eyes out until I have to have them removed.

Speaking of losing my eyes, sometimes I think it would be “great” to be blind for the purposes of having a seeing eye dog. I know that is wrong. But it is a thought I think.


Funeral Homes Increasingly Using Dogs To Comfort Mourners
I will tell you this: if someone close to me is no longer here, you better fucking bet that a dog will need to be in my arms or my arms on a dog at every god damned second of every god damned day until I die.

A Robotic Dog’s Mortality
What happens to “dead” robotic dogs? Well, the Japanese people are having to deal with this now.

Duke Professor Offering Free Online Course On Dog Psychology
I will take this class. I will learn about dog minds. I will 1000% know everything that will be taught. I will not care. I want to make my mind into the mind of a dog. I want to be a dog.

Cops: Teen’s Photos Show Dog Licking Her “Vagina Approximately 30 Times”
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh: “Miller eventually told officers that 2-Face had ‘licked her vagina approximately 30 to 40 times’ since she bought in her in 2006.” Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh: “Miller further explained that she ‘would call 2-face into her room, take her pants off, open her legs and 2-face would lick her vagina.'” Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh: “She added that a prior dog, named “Scarface,” also licked her on a similar number of occasions.”

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