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FeardotCum, Week Three: The Brood, Creep, Red Riding Hood

FeardotCum is a series of pre-Halloween posts where myself and my friend Ross explore our mutual love of horror films and gayness. Each week, we will watch three horror movies and discuss via text. These are our thoughts.

This week we dive into a very sticky yet incredibly sweet placenta sack from the late seventies, some deadly homoerotic indie bromancing, and perhaps the most derivative of teen horror.

Spoilers ahead, of course. Read last week’s entry here.

The Brood is a David Cronenberg film about families, particularly a broken one that includes a mother who keeps literally birthing lil’ babies from sacks of hate that pop up on her body.

R: BROODING WAS DELICIOUS, such a snowy escape like Let The Right One In
R: blood against white backdrops
R: So scary
K: it made me want to go there
R: UN FUH GETTABLE
K: and live in modernist canada
R: Yes it’s transporting
K: and have my face bashed in by snowglobes
K: with pre-trans curly haired boil men
R: THAT
K: it brought new meaning to daddy
R: the-brood-david-cronenberg-samantha-eggar-canada-horror-thriller-brood-1234kyle5678-1
R: the-brood-david-cronenberg-samantha-eggar-canada-horror-thriller-brood-1234kyle5678-2
R: KYLE when this schoolteacher was killed by her students!?!?!?
R: In parkas
R: All in parkas
R: Her “students”
K: the-brood-david-cronenberg-samantha-eggar-canada-horror-thriller-brood-1234kyle5678-3
K: there was some bizarre symmetry between teletubbies and vintage 1950s baby dolls
K: i loved it
K: and the kids around are like “my eyes im scared 😟“
R: Hehehahahahehehahaha
R: YEAH THAT
R: On-lookers
K: that was the recurring theme of the movie “im scared my eyes im 6 😟“
R: So weird
K: and then the ending with the baby boils FORGOT ABOUT THAT
R: UGHGHGH THE BLONDE GIRL
R: I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER
R: THAT ACTRESS, WHERE IS SHE NOW?
R: SHE JUST HAD TO LOOK TRAUMATIZED IN EVERY SHOT
K: i just loved that her role was “resign yourself to a future of misery”
R: UGHGHGH YES
R: She had to work opposite this…
R: the-brood-david-cronenberg-samantha-eggar-canada-horror-thriller-brood-1234kyle5678-4
R: Evil Glam0ur
K: Evil Glam0ur Hiding Baby Boil Snacks Under There™
K: i’d love to see her collection of high slit dresses
R: Hahahahaha
R: I was just gonna say
R: Like
K: how often do you think she did that
R: How did the costume designers
K: that must have been an annoying parlor trick
K: “look at….THIS!!!”
K: then eats a baby
K: and the costumes yes
K: also i want to know the backstories for every single small person
R: the-brood-david-cronenberg-samantha-eggar-canada-horror-thriller-brood-1234kyle5678-6
R: ^^ YOU MEAN THAT MOVE? ^^
R: HELLO
K: she must have done that all the time
R: IM OPEN
R: ENTER ME
R: Hahhahahaha i am laughing so hard
K: “let me REMIND YOU—“
R: Samantha Eggar walked around set exposing herself
R: In the same bleeding high slit dress
K: how could you not!!
R: OH THE COLOR OF THE DRESS ALSO REMIND ME OF!!!! Eden in The Invitation
R: White cult colors
K: yes!
K: oh my god
R: Serene deathly white
K: just add lips and you got it
R: We love the invitation
K: KARYN
R: We love karyn
R: KARYN
K: i mean how can you not
R: KARYYYYNNNNEEEEEE
R: Ugh so good
R: Ok the movie was so wonderfully contained
R: Like small and slow
R: All leading up to fear maggot conclusion
K: yes surprisingly intimate
R: I didn’t know the FULL DURATION OF THE FILM would be about that
R: I just thought it was a notorious sideplot/moment
R: BUT NO IT IS ALL ABOUT THE MAGGOT
R: S
R: AND FREUD
K: it also was the best way to segue from old cronengerg to mid cronenberg (before now cronenberg)
R: AND PSYCH.
R: AND SNOW
R: YEAH
K: apparently the theme we can see thus far is PSYCHOLOGY
K: the uniting factor, week to week
R: Now cronenberg…. Maps to the stars, even if it was like directed by a comedian, is out of this world hysterical, it invents its own “galaxial mythology”
R: Oh yes last week’s monsters were super psych
R: VIDEODROME obvious stand out, EXISTENZ secretly the greatest thing the world has ever lived
R: ❤️ ❤️ Howard Shore ❤️ ❤️
K: man EXISTENZ
R: LOVE IT
K: i love that movie and jennifer jason leigh’s lateral lisp
K: and videodrome is just untouchable
K: but BROOD was a good appetizer to those
K: its like “oh OK so this is what we’re doing”
R: K wait is there anything left to cover on Brood
R: That gay opening where the “guru” is FORCING that poor man Michael to be brutally emasculated
R: Into Michelle
K: IS THERE HMM
K: that guy man THAT GUY
R: GROSS
K: oh oh oh
R: HE’S A BOIL
K: and the track suit dude
K: in the hospital who had to keep working out
K: and was low key gay
K: that part i was like, “in the remake, this is drew droege”
R: Hahahahahha
R: FIND ME A PIC NOW
R: OR DIDNT HAPPEN
R: CUZ DONT RMEMEBER
K: for whatever reason, i was like “drew.”
R: find pic.
R: #findpic
K: the-brood-david-cronenberg-samantha-eggar-canada-horror-thriller-brood-1234kyle5678-7
K: him on the right
K: him on the right
R: HHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA
R: Certainly low key gay
K: he was SUCH a character
K: yes
R: Thank you for scraping the barrel
K: also
K: also
K: the-brood-david-cronenberg-samantha-eggar-canada-horror-thriller-brood-1234kyle5678-8
R: OH HER
K: the mom was a treasure
R: THEN
R: DEAD
K: alcoholic
R: SHE DIED
R: BAD
K: 41
R: GLOBES
R: YES
K: yet grandma
R: 41 ahhahahaha
R: yes
K: and so casual about “oh someone is in my house but im drunk whatever”
R: Somehow playing samantha eggar’s mom when samantha herself is 84
R: ODD
K: she was my favorite part because she was like “what movie am i in? give me a whiskey.”
R: Those actresses
R: Gay men talk about them like they’re nothing but they’re absolutely powerful
R: We take them for granted
R: WE DONT
K: oh 10000%
R: but some do
R: WE WE WE don’t
R: but some do.
K: well i think MEN dont
K: because i feel like a straight man probably is even more “…” about it
R: obvi
K: like that grandma’s three minutes on screen were a TREASURE and so important given the context of EGGARS
R: time for a zoom-in on a newborn:
R: the-brood-david-cronenberg-samantha-eggar-canada-horror-thriller-brood-1234kyle5678-9
K: oh man oh man
K: on a BROOD
R: SMELL IT
R: It’s like opening up a pack of Gushers
K: a GIANT gusher
K: man i want to know who had to make that
R: Angry gusher
K: and how many times they had to shoot that scene
R: It’s so well done
K: i DO have notes about the stage blood on her face though
R: OH DO YOU?
R: the-brood-david-cronenberg-samantha-eggar-canada-horror-thriller-brood-1234kyle5678-10
K: after she ate it was like her face turned impermeable and didnt dry
K: as someone who has had lifelong bloody noses, I HAVE NOTES
R: EEEUUUUUW
R: YOURE A BROOD!!!!
K: my nose is full of broods
R: You birthed me
R: Kyle the babies aren’t each called A BROOD – they’re all part of … THE BROOD
K: the-brood-david-cronenberg-samantha-eggar-canada-horror-thriller-brood-1234kyle5678-11
K: how could you not love this face
R: HAHHAHAH
K: that was my favorite part actually
K: “you think im disgusting”
R: YOU LLLLIAH
R: LLLLLIAHHHH!!!
K: *growls heard from other room*
R: LLLLLIIIAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
K: like how DO YOU respond to that
R: A slap
K: uhhhhhhh *chokes her*
R: 😟
K: i want to be in the room with david cronenberg in the 1970s when he was getting baked and went “WAIT I HAVE AN IDEA HEAR ME OUT”
R: THATS HOW HE CONCEIVES ALL HIS MOVIES
R: Videodrome was virtually the same with “…BUT THIS TIME IT’S A VIDEO TAPE HE PULLS OUT OF HIS STOMACH, KIND OF LIKE THE BROOD’S VAGINA.”
R: Then with Existenz and so on he crafted like FULL stories
K: “HEAR ME OUT there’s a birth but it’s not what you think”
K: i mean the fly too
R: YAP
R: well, remake
R: but, still
R: very birthy
K: well yes but still
R: We Brooded.
K: we are her two gay sacks that went unopened (uneaten)
R: We Are The Gay Unopened
R: (9) (6) – two embryos in two Samantha sacks
K: that is exactly us
K: nothing has summed us up better
R: lil 9 and lil 6
R: I feel warm
K: and juicy, especially juicy

Creep is about a man who gets paid to film another man (Mark Duplass) and it’s awkward and weird until it gets crazy and, while the trailer promises one thing, it turns into something fantastic, independent of it all.

R: Ok so I really absolutely liked creep
R: I’m not IN LOVE with it cuz it was WHAT THEY CALL AN “exercise” as opposed to a mmmovieeeee
R: But incredible for a zero dollars + minimal actors thing
R: The gay content WAS DELICIOUS. Wanted to certainly make out with both men
R: The cameraman MADE ME SO SAD
K: And, yes, I forgot how appealing the filmmaker dude is.
R: He is so straight and nervous
R: Yes very hot
K: I LOVED the sadness.
K: It made it all the more delicious.
K: ESPECIALLY given DUPLASS
K: any Duplass is a piece of ass.
R: mark-duplass-2
R: That fucking hot ASS and secret muscle bod
R: I llllllllllove how he’s SHOWIN IT OFF
R: I didn’t lllove that his sister on the phone was like “he’s crazy” and that’s the movie’s entire answer to everything
R: Thin writinggggg
R: MADE IT THROUGH RED RIDING HOOD
R: OBVIOUSLY HORRIBLE AND WITH A BIT OF HYSTERICAL CAMP
R: ~CHAT SOON~
R: 😂 Tell me when you’ve watched red riding (and/or rewatched creep) (and/or if you’ll skip one/both)
K: OK i meant to text back yesterday but clearly did not. first off: FINISHING CREEP. yes, it was good that DuplASS went there, i.e. didn’t like tiptoe around gaiety then again he was in Humpday.
R: big true
K: and the sister thing was pretty thin but it was also like delightfully tense? a strange wonderful subversion of “the killer is in the house” yet still a “question everything!!!” sort of thing.
R: tense of course
K: but also i love how sad it was!
R: yes very killer in the house
K: all around so much sad!
R: FRAGILITY
R: very upsetting man
K: they both were so sad though!
R: THE PEE STORY
K: the pee story!
R: THE PEE STORY KYLE
R: Creep has a pee story
R: He was such a hot bearded lumberstraight
R: OK DUPLASS BATHING AN INVISIBLE BABY
R: TALK
K: i mean that is the way you start a fucking movie
R: Brood-level
K: thats what i loved about it is that like it doesnt let you process
R: YES fully unpredictable!!
K: it just gets to the WEIRD and expects you to keep up
R: YES i agree
R: and it was made so smoothy that it worked
K: BUT THEN!!!! half the movie isn’t “the movie,” i.e. at the cabin
K: which was a huge twist for me and i was like “wtf is happening i thought this was a cabin killer thing”
R: Right then it’s 20 minutes of “i’m sending you presents” MUCH LIKE OUR PREVIOUS QUEER HORROR “THE GIFT”
K: it reminded me of those bromance comedies but done as a serial killer romance
R: “you need to use a knife to dig around the present”
R: oh yes
K: YES
R: Ok the ending was bleak and great
R: “Meet me in public.”
K: i LOVED the ending
R: AXE
K: again so gay
K: a date
R: Axe the body spray
K: then AXED
R: Yes very gay
K: AXE BODY SPRAY
K: by the lake!!!!
R: The whole thing was like “i need a friend / any kind of love”
K: i just love how fucked up it was
R: by the lake!! STRANGER BY THE LAKE
K: YES!!!!!!
R: Yes it’s absolutely fun
R: It’s very small
R: And it accomplishes a lot
R: A PROPER MUMBLECORE
K: while not perfect, there’s so much to take from it
K: yes
K: exactly
R: yaaeuz
K: and a big lesson for horror
K: wasnt this a blumhouse too?
R: hopefully
K: like the blumhouse arthouse extension?
K: i thought i saw that and was like “duh.”
R: yes, even tinier blumhouse
R: he literally owns the marker
R: market*
K: i mean yes
K: but also as he should
R: DESIREE AKHAVAN HAHAHAHAHAH
R: Sequel final girl
K: okay so like
R: yes
K: HOW and WHY
R: i mean
K: im here for it but HOW AND WHY
K: “I love Creep and couldn’t be happier about crashing the sequel,” said Akhavan about the role. “Patrick and Mark are inspiring, generous & crazy smart collaborators.”
R: THEY LOVE “APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR”
R: so weird
R: “crashing”
R: Ok so it’ll be a final girl uncovering Duplass’s work and probably defeating him
R: With a bigger budget
R: Fun!
K: its one of the more bizarre film things to happen
K: i will see it
R: hopefully she’s like the final girl in YOURE NEXT
K: but i will not consider it on the same wavelength as part one
R: a secret ADVENTURESS
R: with SKILLS
K: i mean well yes
K: god that movie is just so good
K: thats another “how is this what it is.”
R: yauerz
K: ANYWAY
K: creep, like the gift, is a gift
R: yes.
R: OK:

Red Riding Hood is a nightmare. It is a Twilight regurgitation from the director of Twilight. It is what happens when Hollywood vomits into its own mouth, shitting it into another mouth, into infinity.

R: amanda-seyfried-virginia-madsen-suzette-prudent-patience-red-riding-hood-christine-hardwicke-twilight-little-red-riding-hood-bad-movie-1234kyle5678-1
K: the movie summed up in a single frame
K: doe eyed and uncommitted
K: who is amanda seyfried’s audience
K: who is picketing “MORE AMANDA!!!”
R: TTTTHHIIISSS WWWWAAASSSSSS AN INSANE TWILIGHT CARBON COPY mashed up with THE WEREWOLF WHODUNIT CLASSIC CURSED FROM 2005
K: Where spoiler alert JUDY GREER’S A FUCKING WOLF
K: CURSED!!!
R: No one loves amanda
R: No one loves mamma mia
R: Except a few moms
K: it was just so bad
K: it was so bizarre
R: Amanda’s ascent is really upsetting
R: Oh the movie YES
K: it was two hours of like side eyeing the camera like “are you watching this? do you know about WHERE WHOLVES?”
R: It was a shhhhity murder mystery. If only it committed to being purely a twilight ripoff OR a more fun wolf horror
K: HAHAHAHAHA
K: then virginia madsen searching the set for whine
K: wine too
R: amanda-seyfried-virginia-madsen-suzette-prudent-patience-red-riding-hood-christine-hardwicke-twilight-little-red-riding-hood-bad-movie-1234kyle5678-2
K: NEVER
R: hideous ogress!!!!!!
K: she was just like “why am i here.”
R: SHE LOOOOOKED SOOOOOO FUNNY
R: SHE GOT PAID WELL
K: PAID
K: yes
K: also a few other things
R: Star of candyman, star of sideways
K: YES YES YES
K: FORGOT she was in candyman
K: “i have to write my thesis.”
R: Incredible
R: HAHAHAHAHAH
R: IM RESEARCHING NONWHITES, IM WHITE
R: CAN YOU HELP
K: the biggest takeaway from that movie
R: RRH or candy?
K: “hi im in academia can you help me”
K: candyman
R: yes
R: yes yes
K: anyway back to RRH
R: amanda-seyfried-virginia-madsen-suzette-prudent-patience-red-riding-hood-christine-hardwicke-twilight-little-red-riding-hood-bad-movie-1234kyle5678-3
R: everyone she meets dies
R: its so sad
R: ok yes
K: i was actually really frustrated that the film didnt live up to the original story more
K: it was tooooo far removed
R: Hhahaahahhh
K: i mean what the fuck did i expect
R: it was just the title
R: Hysterical
R: EXCEPT
R: FOR
R: THE
R: CAMPY
R: EVIL
K: but i was like “just fucking GO FIND GRANDMA”
R: GRANDMA MOMENTS
K: yes!!!!!!!
R: HAHAHAHAH
R: YES YES YES!!!!
K: like the dream
K: that terrible dream
R: JULIE CHRISTTIIEEEEE NNNOOOOOOOO
R: the ending had me screaming
K: where she literally read the nursery rhyme
R: EAT THE SOUP! EAT THE SOUP DEAR!
R: yes
R: so bad
K: EAT THE SOUP
R: amanda deserves a razzie for the dream
K: also how over budget were they
R: “My, grandma, what big ears you have” HOW DID THEY FILM THAT
R: Oh quite
K: because that footage of her and the “hot wolf” out in the alps was used OVER AND OVER AND OVER
K: the ending was just so bizarre
K: and there were so many PG-13 handlings
K: like when they cut out the heart and you dont see anything
K: i was like COME ON FUCK YOU
R: Definitely annoying
R: But Im sure they were given a BUDGET to work with – they literally brought: the director of twilight, the dad from twilight, very similar score to twilight, similar soundtrack to twilight, the woods from twilight, the meadow from twilight, the two white people in taboo love from twilight
R: ^ They wanted this to be A BOX OFFICE HIT ^
K: yes
K: they also literally bought Fever Ray
K: and raped her for profit
R: 😟
R: Too bad they could only land two star actresses …. and Gary Oldman?
K: right??
K: and MAX IRONS
K: Jeremy Irons SON
R: THAT BOY
K: i was furious
R: NNNNO I DIDNT KNOW
R: Want to know his track record?
K: please
K: enlighten
R: He’s “one of the two hot guys” in two of hollywood’s BIGGEST attempts at cashing in on twilight —
R: RED RIDING HOOD from the director of twilight
R: and THE HOST from the author of twilight
R: THIS BOY WAS IN BOTH MOVIES!!!! HOW DARE HE
R: He’s hollywood’s ANTI-ANTI-PATTINSON
K: oh my god
R: HESSS INNN THE HOOOOST
K: DISASTROUS record
R: WHICH I STARTED ONCE and vomited
R: Alien sex film
R: For teens
R: So bad
R: Not SPECIES
K: im impressed you let your eyes near that
R: Yes
R: I research too much
K: oh my god species
R: species
R: HENSTRIDGE
R: You know
R: Red Riding Hood could use more Henstridge
R: As like a town psychic or something
R: Covered in twigs, with purple hair extensions, like Portia De Rossi in Cursed
K: oh my god yes
K: thats the thing
K: RRH didnt have any awareness of itself
K: the grandma and Virginia had some semblance of “god this is bad we are bad”
R: Absolutely
K: but nothing else
K: god oh god oh god
R: Granny
K: also i didnt see twilight but was race handled so strangely
R: LOOK AT THE COLORS HAHAHAHAHAHA
R: yes
K: two black men, both in subservient positions, one of which is literally murdered
K: it was uncomfortable
R: yes
K: also GRANDMAS
K: both this and BROOD
K: which is the better grandma
R: MEAN MOMS
R: oh brood
K: i mean duh
R: julie christie was an embarrassment
K: but i dont know man that dream sequence
R: HAHAHAHA
K: that sums up the movie for me
R: My favorite scene
R: Was
K: like miraculously bad
R: THE PAGAN DANCE SCENE
R: When they think they’ve killed the wolf
R: But it was an actual wolf
R: THIS WAS A FILM ABOUT ANIMAL CRUELTY!!!
R: Their pagan dance scene had me screaming laughing
K: oh my god yes
R: Like drums playing, girls clasping hands, amanda in a choreographed dance
K: that scene was like wannabe Matrix 2 rave but goth + The Knife scoring but was just like you walked into a post-work party in the back of a hot topic
K: it was so bad
R: AHHAHAHAHAHA
R: THE KNIFE
R: HOT TOPCI
K: it was like adorably bad
R: MATRIX 2
R: ABSOLUTELY
R: You’ve hit the nail on the wolfhead
K: its funny to see what manifests when old people go “hey lets make a movie for teens but it’ll be edgy”
R: amanda-seyfried-virginia-madsen-suzette-prudent-patience-red-riding-hood-christine-hardwicke-twilight-little-red-riding-hood-bad-movie-1234kyle5678-5
R: Let’s talk about Shiloh (that name)
R: SHILOH
K: i mean come on
K: the whole movie you were like “oh yeah he’s going to be a wolf”
R: BUT THEN ITS DAD
K: and he was just so frustratingly “IM A BAD BOY!!!!! IM BAD!! SPANK ME!! BAD BABY!!”
R: He’s got great cheekbones and he’s tall!
K: yes true
R: Ridiculous hair
K: he was the only sex appeal of the film
K: also okay virginia madsen’s character’s name was SUZETTE
R: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA
R: I KNOW I KNOW
R: WE LOVE IT
R: HER HAAAAIR HER LIPSSSSSS HER FAAARTS
K: SUZETTE
K: who picked the names
R: She was ~the worst of the film~ and our biggest takeaway
R: I did! I picked the names
K: who thought “yes red riding hood’s real name is VALERIE and her mom is SUZETTE”
R: Originally i named her Crepe
R: HAHAHAHAHAH VALERIE WAS
R: REALLY BAD
R: WHO CHOSE VALERIE
K: WHO.
R: I think they were like “it sounds Bella.”
K: no brain people
K: oh god you’re right
R: E’s and L’s
K: also can we talk about VALERIE’s fat friend who tries to give her body to gay oldman
R: 😟
K: gay oldman is a typo but how great is that
R: HHAHAHAHA
R: I OVERLOOKED IT
R: Cuz it just seemed so normal
K: i think her name is “roxanne”
K: ROXANNE
R: She wasn’t Prudence, that was the other one
R: PRUDENCE
R: Or Patience
K: OF COURSE
K: yes i think it was patience
R: Roxanne sucked
R: Why did she start removing her dress!!!
R: That scene was disgusting
R: She’s like i HAVE MORE TO OFFER
K: she was like about to fucking masterbate a queef for him
R: OH YOU DONT WANT MY BOOBS? OK VALERIE’S A WITCH
K: AMANDA’S A KILLER
K: I LOVED THAT
K: that was the best
R: Very weird
R: So bitchy and sad
K: the best unloved lesbian rug pull
K: that was a scene from Heavenly Creatures
R: UGHGHHG YES
R: I mean what era was this
K: oh my god
R: “Woods time”
K: you know what
K: the entire movie was actually one of the clay universes from Heavenly Creatures
K: it all makes sense
R: HHAAHAHAH
R: THE FOURTH KINGDOM
K: YES
K: expanded
R: *Fourth World
K: like bought from the lesbians and then turned straight
R: Except kate and lynskey’s was more fun
R: YEP
K: oh 100000%
R: HARDWICKE
R: Ughghgh hardwicke
R: Kyle, she made twilight and hated it
R: How much was she paid to make a ripoff of her own film????????
R: Was she paid, not kidding, like $30 million ?
K: thats the saddest part
R: Yes
R: I felt it the entire time
K: does she cry into money every night
R: HAHAHAHAH
K: it was like in South Park where Spielberg rapes Indiana Jones
R: “I HATE MY TWEEN BLOCKBUSTER CAREER”
R: oh wow
K: “I AM THE MONSTER I HAVE BECOME”
R: “I AM EDWARD”
R: “I AM TEAM BELLA”
K: i bet that is HARDWICKE’s constant internal battle
K: “WHO AM I.”
K: “WHICH TEAM.”
K: does she like hear the number “thirteen” and start sobbing
K: what triggers her
R: Thirteen is her BABY
R: It’s EVERYTHING ELSE she FEARS
R: She made … The nativity story
R: Also a tween rock drama called PLUSH starring EMILY BROWNING – someone we need to talk about
K: are you kidding me
R: I’m shaking my head IRL
R: her career is careening
K: hahahahaha
R: it’s so sad
K: she was in pompeii!!!!!
R: thirteen was such a great breakout
R: HAHAHHAHAHAHA
R: AHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH
R: SUCKER PUNCH
K: which i havent seen but am dying to!!!!!
R: THE UNINVITED
R: 13 or sucker?
K: POMPEII
K: DYING TO SEE POMPEII
R: hahaha me TOO
K: sucker punch i think i queefed on
K: the uninvited i think i saw? i have no idea it all blurs together with movies like that
R: Pompeii is for our summer blockbuster bad movie research – along with 10000 BC and POSEIDON and BATTLESHIP
R: Univited is ~bad~ and features elizabeth banks literally clutching her pearls
R: Ok red riding hood
R: amanda-seyfried-virginia-madsen-suzette-prudent-patience-red-riding-hood-christine-hardwicke-twilight-little-red-riding-hood-bad-movie-1234kyle5678-6
R: Huge shame, hot Shiloh, sad Virginia, sad Christie, pathetic VALERIE
K: YES
K: although ive seen battleship ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
R: EEEW

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