Did anyone predict that this season of All Stars would be this divisive? It started off so sweet but has evolved into a tense standoff.
Not that any of this is bad but the storylines this season have unfolded themselves in a way that is both predictable and surprising. It feels like we’ve all discovered reality television again as all the old tropes of the trade (alliances, past-season rivalries, family, backstabbing, etc.) have been enlivened through drag.
Anyway. Let’s get into it.
And of course: spoilers ahead. Get last week’s recap here.
5. Revenge Is A Dish.
The start of the episode clarified what cliffhung over us for a week: who would Katya have sent home? Sure enough, there was a Sliding Doors moment of what might have been: Roxxxy would have been sent home. It was a tense mimi-moment where Katya zoomed in to say what everyone at home has been hollering about: Roxxxy is the bottomest queen of all time. This revelation set the tone for the episode and, as we’ll get into later, is a story that is being arced through multiple episodes.
4. Get Lit, Fam.
What a great challenge! To my knowledge, there haven’t been any real family on set as the budget for the show is so small, thus making this challenge a big deal. (Also, related: the budget for flying family out is likely why the episode concluded with a lip synch to a RuPaul song…as that’s where the money came from.) Roxxxy’s grandmother was the cutest and reason enough to keep Roxxxy in the game while Alaska’s Pam was just as feisty as her daughter. The best was obviously Patya, the combination of Katya and her mother Pat who both didn’t realize that their team name was “Patya.” In a series of double producer slam dunks, both Alyssa and Detox had deathaversaries to celebrate with family, extending the metaphor of drag-as-therapy into another season. Could not have planned these C storylines better, y’all. However, all the aforementioned wasn’t even the best part: like seeing a queen out of drag, I am sent into a fit of giggles whenever I hear a mother of a drag performer refer to her daughter (son) as their boy name. Alaska’s mom did it the most, calling him Justin, thereby shattering the intergalactic spell the queen had placed on herself. Surely this name game set off Alaska’s chain reaction, no?
3. Vogues & Matchy Matches
The voguing bit was a fine challenge that was surprisingly uneven and somewhat unfair (i.e., Alyssa’s Tabatha is young and spry versus Roxxxy’s Raquel who is inflexible and old) but it was the matchy-matchy runway where the queens were given permission to truly extend their brand and show who is in and out of the game. Katya obviously brought it. Her storyline of peasant mother to hooker daughter was so perfectly Patya and, obviously, she won. Alyssa’s sister helped clarify her aesthetic as “delightful suburban drag.” Roxxxy did better than expected with her adorable mom/grandma and was graded on a curve for charm. The real rubs were Detox and Alaska: Detox looked nice enough but was ultimately a Marco Marco advertisement, thus stripping the queen of talent and agency in addition to her ability to actually match herself to her sister; Alaska was typical, classic Alaska but seemed to be a little too relaxed from her flip-flop mama voguing to corset coverings that were just a little too under polished to be professional. Details like that illustrated that, again, this isn’t the little leagues: bring it or get docked. Alaska learned the hard way, for the first time in years.
2. The State Of Alaska.
That brings me to the
sequencedsequined elephant in the room: what happened to Alaska? Our Baby Jane turned from winningest to losingest when pinched. It wasn’t that she donned an ugly ‘tude: it just became clear that her delightful arrogance when checked turns into bratty entitlement. Yes, a lot is on the line and Alaska wasn’t going to let it all disappear for nothing. As we learned with her mother detailing her sobriety and laser focus from being booze free, Alaska isn’t here to make friends. To use friends, sure, but she isn’t going home without a crown—even if that means joining Adore and Phi Phi by losing all of her fans.
Katya is the only non season five queen on the show. She has no time for this bullshit. When she concluded her one-on-one with Alaska by conjuring Adore’s “Party.,” something shifted. A mind game began. A trap was set and the little bejeweled skink crawled in to whine, whine, whine, making it clear that All Stars is repeating a past storyline. With Ru picking Detox to win, producers put something clear into play: the mean girls versus Katya. They knew who Detox picked before she lip synched for her legacy, thus ensuring the Rolaskatox-versus-Katya story even though Katya should have won. Next week will tell what Katya would have done, if she would have axed Alaska to keep her goal clear or if she would have given Roxxxy the chop. Next week will continue the tale that, while produced, is must see TV.
1.5. …Detox That Booty.
I didn’t snap a picture, nor do I care to look again because it was horrifying, but did anyone else notice that Detox’s peek-a-boo butt when zoomed in on was…slimy? She must have lubed up her crack because some sort of liquid/gel monster was chilling on the stage left side of her crack and it made me very, very uncomfortable. Someone explain/don’t.
Well! Things haven’t changed in the power ranking but let’s take a look.
10. Adore Delano
9. Coco Montrese
8. Ginger Minj
7. Phi Phi O’Hara
Alyssa Edwards(Down two—and out. Goodbye, again, my strip mall wonder. Be the budget, fourth-runner-up beast you were meant to be.)
4. Roxxxy Andrews (Technically up one. Still surprised she is here, honestly. Yes, she did better this week—but how is she here?)
3. Detox (Technically up one. After this week, the Marco Marco connection is all I can see with her: she is a literal model of elevated yet poor taste. She’s alt-wannabe Miss Fame minus curation and talent.)
2. Katya (Maintained. With this week, Katya became a threat. Katya will overtake Alaska and get the fan vote—but her record isn’t as sterling as her rival’s.)
1. Alaska Thunderfuck (Maintained. I will let her take this spot again. I am giving her the benefit of the doubt. I know I will regret this. But I am sticking to my lipstick, fan vote or not. She is the winningest and I do think she deserves to win, despite her brattitude.)
Thoughts? Are you living for the drama or is it stressing you out? And what do we think of Alaska now? Please let me know.