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Fleeting Celebrity & Interviewing Teenagers

If someone is assumed to be famous, people will do anything for them.

You learn this very quickly working in Hollywood, finding that everyone is eager to climb out of their respective socioeconomic holes to make a life of their own. Case in point: someone like Kellyanne Conway, desperate to escape working class roots by any means necessary. At a certain point you either make your peace with this process, exit the system, or say “Fuck the system!” and refuse to help make other people—Namely rich people.—richer. At some point you have to do you.

Still, many are stuck in the muck of that system and that system is only getting sadder and sadder given Internet and meme culture. For example: the rise of Danielle Bregoli, the “Cash Me Ousside” girl, a cyst on the pop culture labia on the body of Jersey Shore cum Victoria Thompson on Maury. She is a unique brand of celebrity that is neither important nor notable but is. All because she had a image macro worthy phrase and attitude, I guess. And people are there to make themselves and her money: thus is the cycle of Hollywood. C’est la vie.

This became painfully apparent in Allison Tierney‘s interview with Bregoli for VICE, where she claims that the conversation ruined the magic of memes for her. Why? Because interviewing a sassy, somehow entitled thirteen year old with nothing to actually contribute to a conversation in 2017 is a unique hell.

Take a bite out of their conversation, if you aren’t convinced.

What is it like to have paparazzi following you around all of a sudden?
I mean, it’s kind of crazy. I don’t think about it too much.

I mean, how has that affected your life? Are you not able to do the kind of shit you could before?
No, I can’t. I can’t even go to the mall anymore. I have to bring 17 security guards… or it feels like it.

How do you deal with hate on the internet?
People do it, but I just don’t deal with it.

How did you feel going back on Dr. Phil for the second time?
[long pause] I just don’t want to talk about Dr. Phil so…

OK, can you talk to me about what happened with the Kodak Black video ?
Manager: Can you ask some more relevant questions?

Imagine having to do that. Imagine having to do that as a job, both as the manager and as the interviewer. Let that sink in.

Actually, stop letting that sink in: I can tell you from experience producing a teen YouTube show what kind of hell this is. I worked on a show for nearly a year where all sorts of YouTube and Vine influencers who are all a unique set of teen and preteen dead behind the eyes born from the Internet. There was the banal yet “beautiful” Madison Beer, the sadly deadpan and unopinionated Amanda Steele, the cigarette smoked dolts that are The Janoskians, and the overly sexual perversions of Jack & Jack: they are all bad. Yes, they are advanced children. But you know what’s wild? These children have been thrust into an industry like Hollywood and otherwise well meaning people like myself have to make rocks bleed for conversation with said children who should be smoking weed behind a high school instead of waxing on and off about popular culture to an audience.

Think about when you were a teen: could you hold a stimulating, intelligent, “fun” conversation with an adult that could then be literally broadcast to people? I think not. Fancy yourself a young dandy all you want but, no, you were not prepared via media training for such a situation. Case in point: watch how sad this interview with YouTuber Sierra Furtado is compared with this interview with (media trained) Disney star Laura Marano. Notice how one has things to say and the other doesn’t? It’s the difference between professionalism and being in a career at a young age versus stumbling into a following via a meme and floating around as others pump money out of you.

Thus is the cycle of life, I suppose. Thus is Hollywood. Cash me ousside, I guess. Or don’t.

Photo via.

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