A glass bottomed bridge? Fuck that. Fuck that bridge. That’s devil stuff.
“Let’s build a bridge that is about six hundred feet above the ground—but we’ll have the ground be glass,” they say. “LOL, it’ll be like a joke. We’ll be pulling a joke on them. They’ll be like ‘AHHHHHHHH I’M FALLING’ but they will be on a glass ground. LOL.”
“We will make them wear little shoes,” they say. “Like they are walking in a very fragile place because glass is very fragile. When they jump, we will scream, ‘Be careful!!! DO NOT BREAK!!’ and we will say our prayers loudly so that people will stop and realize the danger of our fragile bridge. You do not want to fall into a treetop do you? No, you do not. They will listen. This will be major tourist attraction.”
“They will hold onto the railing. They will not want to let go,” they say. “This will be like an icicle bridge that is nearly a thousand feet long. They will come to this: we will call it ‘Death Bridge.’ We will not actually call it that but we will say it is that at the entrance. ‘You want to go on death bridge?’ then we sigh. Then we wipe the sweat from our brow and we charge them $20 dollars and we let them on and say good luck.”
“Maybe there will be another Indiana Jones movie? That will help us,” they say. “We will try to get them to make another movie and we will try to make them make a crystal bridge. This bridge is like a ride. People will cry and laugh and, if someone dies, we will shut down for a few days and we will then reopen and pretend that no one fell a tenth of a mile into the tops of trees at the bottom of the valley.”
Fuck those architects.
Fuck this bridge.
Fuck glass grounds.
Fuck tall things.
Fuck the people who are crawling like babies.
Fuck this news.
This is devil stuff.