Judging The Tiny Cook By Tiny Fingers In The Tiny Kitchen

Do you watch tiny kitchen YouTube videos? You should be because they are great, bizarre Internet fun.

For the unfamiliar, tiny kitchen cooking videos hit early last year and are exactly what they sound like: cooking videos where everything is miniaturized except for the human hands that make said small food. It’s captivating and weird yet perfectly sanitized entertainment: there is nothing offensive about tiny kitchen cooking.

The one mystery of this YouTube trend is that you never get to see who is attached to the hands in the tiny kitchen: you’re left to judge a person—the tiny cook—by the fingers that poke around the tiny kitchen. You’re left with an imagination running wild, to piece together the image of these kitchen people judging by fingers alone.

As an exercise, let’s explore the top tiny kitchen cooks and brainstorm what they look like based on their fingers.

YouTuber: Miniature Space
Finger Assessment: Quite wide, clean fingernails with smooth, veiny skin.
Profiling: Definitely a man, potentially a Korean soap opera star? His skin is just so smooth and nice that there must be a beautiful late-teen man attached to those tiny tongs.

YouTuber: Tastemade
Finger Assessment: Very long and dancerly. Unnecessarily dainty, treating the small food as if they were going to be offended by touch.
Profiling: That tall, gawky girl in school who no one really talks to but has a very active following on a niche alternative sport circuit (like archery) or niche musical community (like the bassoon).

YouTuber: Nameless (FKA RRcherrypie)
Finger Assessment: Very clean and very vanilla.
Profiling: David from Prometheus.

YouTuber: Miniature Cuisina
Finger Assessment: Very young and thin, potentially teenage.
Profiling: A young, weathered new mother who—in moments of peace or sleeping child—cobbles together a tiny kitchen to make videos, using it as therapy and as a dream for a simpler life.

YouTuber: TanyaBubzee
Finger Assessment: Tiny and bejeweled.
Profiling: The American girl who works at the Japanese supermarket and is always very happy and speaking broken Japanese to customers, who stare back confused.

YouTuber: AAAJoken
Finger Assessment: Very smooth and manly but not masculine (judging from the slightly dirty fingernails).
Profiling: An overworked Japanese office worker who lives to leave work after fourteen hours to go home to his tiny kitchen where he toils over miniature dishes late into the night.

YouTuber: 단발머리
Finger Assessment: Slightly pudgy with very feminine nails overshadowed by a few blemish spots and bruises.
Profiling: The adult version of this girl I went to middle school with in Korea whose name was Eileen, who had a lazy eye and was very sweet but always bedraggled looking, making you wonder if she had self-care issues.

YouTuber: Pocket Resort
Finger Assessment: Masculine with very wide pores.
Profiling: A divorced father who bought this stuff for his kids and they never played with it so, when aren’t visiting, he makes these masterworks. Potentially an effeminate Tim Allen.

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