What if the size of a man’s penis was the size of the man himself? What if the 19 inch penis dude was real and if our sexual lifestyle had to occur upside down because the member is so big? That would be insane. Yet, some animals live this life of giant dicked pleasure. Some animals have members that are so big that they are almost albino doppelgangers.
This creature is the Leopard Slug, a common big spotted slug with giant junk. According to Wired, these slugs have (Blue!) penises that are “almost bigger than the slugs themselves.” The penises also come out of their heads. This is such a big burden that the creatures have to hang upside down by bungee cords of slime to get their fuck on because they must use the force of gravity to push the pickle out. It’s very impressive.
Here’s how it looks, for those wondering:
Kind of pretty, right? Maybe? Watch a video of the action! Their dicks are like flowers! They are pretty little petaled pee pees! Literally: their dicks are made of folded membranes full of gooey DNA detail.
The penises “wrap around each other and they form this kind of chandelier configuration, which is very strange, with these flaps around the edge with a frill on it. And that can pulsate up and down and in and out as the slugs are rotating around. It’s quite the elaborate interaction.”
The coolest element is that these slugs with schlongs aren’t male: Leopard Slugs have parts of both sexes. They’re male and female! They have the peanut butter and the jelly—and we’re not talking small nuts and jam either. Every slug gets a big slug dick and, once a slug is mature, it can meet up with another mature slug and do this upside down dance of the blue boner. You keep on being you, Leopard Slugs. You slimey thangs got it going on.