Hi! I’m exhausted.

It’s been a week and yesterday I biked twenty miles.

Just when you think life can’t get you down anymore, just think: at least you didn’t drive into a sinkhole because you were on your phone. If you have extra eclipse glasses on your hands and don’t know what to do with them, here’s a great way to use them by giving back. The new Sims game features dogs and cats and seems like a gay metaphor for death. The history – and taste – of Nickelodeon’s slime is more fascinating than you think. Elmo is a bit of nightmare material and this child agrees. You know how bad the world (Ahem, America.) is right now? This What Would You Do? segment gave me a little hope. The Trump/”Tequila” song mashup is maybe the funniest thing I’ve seen this week. These rare “mop topped” monkeys are neat but they kind of look like Michael Showalter in Wet Hot American Summer. I fucking love candles and this list of celebrity candle faves is making me very excited.

That was your weekend link.

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