Loglines For Fall 2015 Couture Collections

The Fall Couture shows just came and went last week in Paris and there were quite beautiful, breathtaking shows. It feels like some designers put out their best work in a long time! There were also lots of weird (“weird”) pop culture references and frequent art abstracting. All in all, exactly what I want in my Couture shows.

• Dior: Gardening with arm that suffers from elephantiasis.
• Versace: Rodarte Spring 2015 does Miami.
• Giambattista Valli: Those dancing flowers from the nineties placed in gowns.
• Schiaparelli: Candy hearts thrown around Versailles.
• Chanel: “The name is Casino—Ms. Quilts Casino.”
• Giorgio Aramani: Lovely disco pom poms
• Alexandre Vauthier: If I squint hard enough, I can see Lindsay Lohan’s Ungaro collection.
• Ulyana Sergeenko: Mrs. Peacock in Clue goes to space.
• Ralph & Russo: Fifty Shades Of Champagne (In Crystal Flutes)
• Dice Kayek: “Tell me if you’ve heard this one before: a tuxedo, a glittery rainbow, and disproportions walk into a bar…”
• Bouchra Jarrar: Unsuited Suits
• Julien Fournie: Really fancy vampire cosplay
• Stephane Rolland: “The winner of Project Runway will receive a 2015 Lexus RC 350 and a complete sewing and crafting studio from Brother Sewing and Embroidery.”
• Yiqing Yin: A snow covered spiderweb woven from silver
• Valentino: The Red Wedding—but really pretty
• Elie Saab: Game Of Thrones princesses with sparkly tattoos
• Fendi: Like, pretty versions of those people who are always cold and with Jon Snow in Game Of Thrones. Like, “Winter is coming” or something.
• Jean Paul Gaultier: Sailor Moon meets a geometric abstractionist idea of Game Of Thrones
• Zuhair Murad: “…and then they realized that God is actually a man who stitches strips of velvet to form the shimmering quilt that we call the sky. His large hands pins diamonds and emeralds and sapphires and rubies to his sheet, which he waves as we sleep. He surfs into the night, through his velveteen galaxy, tickling every precious stone to shine a light down on us.”
• Didit Hediprasetyo: Somewhat boring meditations on the sexuality of Q-Bert.
• Frank Sorbier: A 3D printed Russian opera
• Maison Martin Margiela: So, you are sticky. You’re in your grandmother’s house. You fall on a dress. Oops! You get up. You are still sticky. You fall on her couch, a tough old thing depicting quaint french villas in embroidery. Oops! You get up. You fall on a plant with giant leaves. Oops! Now you are covered in so many of grandmother’s things. What will she do with you?
• Viktor & Rolf: You know that feeling when you fall through a painting? We’ve all been there.

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