Loglines For Fall 2016 Couture

We’ve done it again: we had another blip of a fashion week. This time, we dove into the higher end of the world, into couture. Hold on, rich, fancy panted people: here are your loglines for Fall 2016 couture.

• AOUADI: Flamenco dancing through the baroque quilting section of Michaels™.
• Fendi: The life of Marie Antoinette, as told through plush baby dolls (and Bella Hadid).
• Giambattista Valli: Matching mama’s sheets with grandmama’s tulle.
• Valentino: Somehow, still, elegant classical women from a Renaissance painting.
• Zuhair Murad: Cowboys and…gauzy fields?
• Jean Paul Gaultier: A garden party with B.A.P.S. in Scotland.
• Viktor & Rolf: Crocheted harlequin (that is, somehow, the most ready to wear I’ve ever seen from these boys).
• Maison Margiela: Fashionable meditations on the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.
• Elie Saab: Beautiful, cinched meditations on the tops of skyscrapers, in velvet.
• Ulyana Sergeenko: y moto ride, ostrich tail garter bling de Vetements?
• Armani Privé: Vintage Illustrator™ patterns in velvet evening wear.
• Schiaparelli: Jewel toned mid-century abstract painting done as watercolor Japanese pastoral executed as embossed rugs.
• J. Mendel: If Franz Kline told the story of Anastasia.
• Guo Pei: Mortal Kombat meets Miss Universe™.
• Ralph & Russo: yeah. flowers, capes, and sun hats. ok.
• Iris Van Herpen: An assumed 3-D printed wonderland on modest, tiny stilts.
• Versace: A shipwreck of Project Runway winners.
• Chanel: Tweed gauchos and long-hemmed Lindsey Wixons.
• Christian Dior: A somewhat delightful, non-heeled exploration of art curator wear.
• Alberta Ferretti: You did a fringe.
• Alexandre Vauthier: The last lost Hedi Slimane YSL show, where Foxy Brown was the muse.

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