Loglines For Men’s Fashion Week/Menswear Spring 2016

The highly buzzed, long awaited New York Men’s Fashion Week went up last week. It gave us a taste of what our Spring 2016 should look like, which means lots of faux athleticism and suits. Surprise! It was boring. I’ve created a listing of reactions to them all and, I assure you, these shows are nothing compared to the Parisian menswear entries. Expect more thoughts on this tomorrow.

• Todd Snyder: An army/navy resort full of smartly dressed Italian men
• Saturdays NYC: Last Saturday. Well, every Saturday.
• Rochambeau: A knitted future in which parkas are a must
• Robert Geller: Wonderfully fun forms for men that are ruined by fucking terrible footwear.
• Rag & Bone: “So, listen to me: it’s Health Goth meets parkour. This is a marketer’s dream.”
• Public School: Cool jackets on monochromatic skaters
• Opening Ceremony: A musical Russian airlines from the year 2098
• Duckie Brown: Some old Rei Kawakubo worn by men
• Calvin Klein: Cargo everything
• Tim Coppens: Meditations on gasoline puddles
• Thom Browne: “I guess you can wear that, Jack. I just don’t want you to wear that suit anymore times to church, okay? The other kids at Sunday school will think you only have one suit!”
• Thaddeus O’Neil: The best and worst of surfers
• Richard Chai: Lovely quiet brights—but does everything have to be worn with sneakers?
• Ovadia & Sons: Old AMI?
• N. Hoolywood: OK coats. Great painted patterns.
• Michael Kors: “I’m telling you, dude: linen doesn’t look gay.”
• Michael Bastian: Wow. Such prep. So Ralph. Very Lauren.
• John Elliot + Co: Wait: didn’t I see this show already this week?
• Gypsy Sport: “It’s a man, baby.”
• Grungy Gentleman: Bloomingdale’s Sale Rack
• Alexandre Plokhov: Warriors Of The Muted Rainbow
• Theory: His & Hers & His Theory
• Simon Miller: Pass.
• Pyer Moss: A class of the coolest Neo Nazis get ready for a soccer game and it’s really awkward
• Polo Ralph Lauren: Ralph Lauren looking into a Ralph Lauren Home Mirror to see a Ralph Lauren Model living in a Ralph Lauren World, where Ralph Lauren is Ralph Lauren is Ralph Lauren. Ralph Lauren ralph lauren ralph lauren polo ralph Ralph Lauren Corporation Denim & Supply Club Monaco Chaps ralph Lauren ralph lauren Lauren Dylan Lauren Baby Ralph lauren ralph polo sport Rugby Ralph RLX rrl black label ralph lauren ralph ralph Lauren.
• Perry Ellis: Really sexy understated patterns pulled from various paper products
• Orley: Those really cute European boys who don’t quite wear clothing that fits and it’s weird but it works
• John Varvatos: “Ladies and gentleman, welcome to Chris Angel: Mindfreak. Before the show gets started, we want to remind you to silence your cell phones…”
• Jeffrey Rüdes: Woah! Tight Pants! I Like Them Tight Pants! (Also, cool shoes.)
• Craft Atlantic: A man who is very excited and very well dressed for his cruise.
• Coach: A gay ass hippie safari that I would love to join

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