Longlines For London Fashion Week Spring 2017

London Fashion Week is upon us, wrapping up their version of Spring 2017. What can you expect to see next season? Let’s sum it all up with loglines of the shows!

• Ryan Lo: Harlequin flapper Sixteen Candles Baby Jane.
• Daks: Some ornate curtains take a vacation to Greece.
• PPQ: Flamenco done by Designing Women.
• Shrimps: Bows and smocks for the girl whose parents make her wear a uniform at home.
• Elizabeth and James: Basically drapely.
• Mother Of Pearl: Casual Acne peasants.
• Fashion East: Ladies And Gentlemen, The Fabulous Lisa Franks
• Julien MacDonald: Shitty Balmain.
• House Of Holland: “The tablecloths…they’re alive!!!!” or Jeremy Scott does Little House On The Prarie
• JW Anderson: A to-go cup of Thai iced tea sweats all over your fashion magazines.
• Simone Rocha: Shipwreck the babydolls with me.
• Molly Goddard: A modest suggestion of tulle experimentation.
• Gareth Pugh: Decoding the mosaics of sun goddesses under dark violet skies.
• Versus Versace: Topshop™ Hot Topic™.
• Topshop Unique: Gigi & Bella Headroom
• Mulberry: Tilda Swinton of Appalachia.
• Paul Smith: Plaid nipples, floral nipples, nipple nipples.
• Erdem: Pride & Perspiration
• Pringle Of Scotland: Creamy, tartan, tied up family seals.
• Christopher Kane: Floral twentysomething spinster in Fashion Crocs™.
• Joseph: “Some mornings I wake up and I just…I just put my legs through jacket holes and it…just feels so right.”
• Burberry Prorsum: Florence & The 82 Looks Machine
• Toga: Harnessed to heaven, wrapped up in wrappers.
• Jenni Kayne: “Look: your sternum is the focal point. Don’t let anyone tell you anything else.”
• Kendall + Kylie: Really, really basic The Row.
• Raquel Allegra: If Sporty Spice were FKA Twigs.
• Oliver Spencer: Men who are married to art curators or men who aren’t Questlove in The Roots.
• Nanette Lepore: If Grace Kelly were a Spaniard.
• Belstaff: The phrase, “I gotta motor.” said with an English accent.

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