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May The Phallus Be With You

The new Star Wars movie is great. As a non-fan of the franchise, it was nice to see one of the movies that actually appealed to me.

NOTE: Spoilers ahead. You are warned.

Yes, a lot of the reason why I enjoyed The Force Awakens had to do with Rey being the main character and a badass in general. While I am not very well versed in this universe and know that there are many female Jedis, Rey in The Force Awakens felt like a sea change. This was a strong woman with the force. This is a strong woman with a lightsaber. This was a strong woman doing what a man has historically done for six films and countless related media items.

So what does that mean? Gender roles have been upended in the Star Wars universe: that’s obvious. It’s also a bit obvious that her role in the film—and in this world—has a lot to do with the female becoming male and the futurist merger of the sexes.

The most obvious manifestation of this is the lightsaber, a big colorful cock that strong men play and hit each other with and have peacock-like versions of to show that they are strong. In the ultimate show of big dickery, this phallic weapon is the ultimate hand-to-hand death machine. People will put down guns to fight by lightsaber. This is probably why Rey is a little horrified by Luke’s saber when she encounters it in Maz‘s castle. Yes, the weapon’s history weighs down the object—but so does its ties to the male gender. Is that something Rey wants to get involved with? Maybe not. That’s truly some scary shit, entering the world of men.

And that’s probably why she runs away and ends up getting kidnapped: she doesn’t want to enter the world of men, to wield her dick around like all of them. She’s afraid to admit to herself that she’s better with a dick than most men are. For example: Finn sucks when given a dick (lightsaber). He repeatedly fails to assert himself with it and, even without a dick (lightsaber), he fails to be the man he should be. Rey? Once she accepts that she has to play with her dick (lightsaber), she excels. She is able to confront and defeat—for now—the one man in the movie who has the flashiest, biggest dick (lightsaber) in the universe: Kylo Ren.

It’s all because she accepted her penis, her maleness, her femaleness, her difference, her similarity—and that’s what helped her rise above and beyond the norm (men). Yes, this is all a ridiculous analyzation of lightsabers and Jedi status as it relates to the performance of masculinity. So what does it mean when a woman enters this world? The galaxy of maleness has been shattered. The move toward Rey leading the franchise is definitely a trendy “Girl power!” something to appeal to the 2015 audience but it’s also a fucking of the Star Wars norm: men are the Jedis. Men do the fighting. Men have the lightsabers because lightsabers are dicks.

So what does it mean when a female Jedi is scared to and eventually embraces her dick (lightsaber)? It means everything has changed.

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