I’m big on goals. I’m the type of person who needs boundaries in life, little guardrails to point me in a direction, to prevent aimless spiraling into The Nothing. I highly recommend them for anyone in need of forming what can feel formless in life.
However, for the past two years I’ve been super slacking on setting a task for myself and following through—so it’s time to get back into it. To ensure that 2016 will be my best year ever, it’s time for some mother fucking goals. #GOALS #RESOLUTIONS #2016 #MANCRUSHMONDAY
I used to do this all the time on earlier versions of this website but have stopped in the past two years because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don’t know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: maybe I was depressed, maybe I was angry, maybe I was lazy, maybe I was “above it.” I stopped with goals because I wanted to see what happened and—Hey.—shit didn’t work and I’ve done little to feel accomplished. Back to it!
Here are ten things I hope to do this year. Like the previous versions, I post these publicly as to not hide them from the world. You need some sort of accountability: come out with your wants and desires—and people will hold you to them. And that’s exactly why we are here!
(Another thing that helps, for you other goal people: literally hand write your goals and put them in a few places around the house. Seeing them everywhere will remind you that shit needs to get done. If you ever come over to my apartment, you’ll see them.)
Want Less, Waste Less.
I’m fucking exhausted by things. I love buying shit and I love getting shit and I love being able to sit down and go, “I’ve accomplished so much: look everything I own!!“…then I sit down and realize how sad it is that items made by other people are how I define happiness, status, etc. That shit isn’t working and I’ve become super grossed out by capitalism and America’s need to spend, spend, spend, that these things that we spend our money on are what define us. I’m over it. I don’t want to be defined by brands or apps or any metric outside of my own, not that I even know what that is. Thus, want less. Furthermore, the wanting less will mean wasting less. Extending to eating and drinking, this can generally be viewed as having some fucking self-control. And! This is an effort to minimize my footprint on the world. Yes, I want to leave a lot behind and have an impact on the planet—but I don’t want it to be the amount of cardboard boxes and food waste that I’ve produced.
Be Nicer! Be Happier! Be More Fun!
I’m fucking angry, dudes. I realized at the end of last year that I might have some anger management issues. I’ mad all the time. Some people are sad and have depression—but I’m mad and am getting wrinkles on my face because I’m constantly grimacing. So, cut out the shit that makes you mad. To that, be nicer! I’ve noticed that this anger issue has meant that I’m a lot less fun—and a lot less approachable. I just glower at everyone and everything. I look so unhappy that no one sits next to me on the bus: this struggle is way too fucking real. I want to be my old self. I want to be someone that people enjoy being around not some grudge holding fucking terror that people think is a prick.
Make More Friends.
See above. And, yes, I read this and thought it was bullshit but I also cannot think of a single person that I “hang out with.” I see a lot of people. I know a lot of people. I just don’t feel like I have anyone that I’m friendly with. I guess it’s time to go on friend dates with people and build some relationships? Stay tuned.
Talk About Things More.
Ironically—and as many would likely attest to the opposite—I’m that guy who is a bottle of emotions. I don’t talk about anything and I’m very much locked up in my brain due to shyness or an ambivalence that makes me feel like that main character dude in Mr. Robot. Talk about things, then! Break that lifelong habit. Maybe therapy would help with this?
Ask For Help.
Related! Get other people involved. Whether it is my griping that I have no mentor and am lost in my life or that I am angry and don’t know how to deal with the feeling, ask other people about it. No one can help if they don’t know about the issues. Talking to yourself isn’t really talking—nor is asking yourself questions. Perhaps new friends can help with this.
I’ve been meaning to do this for years. Back in 2009, when I was an assistant without any friends, I got so depressed that I started volunteering with homeless children, tutoring them in math and writing. It made me happier! Thus, it’s time to do the same thing again. I’d love to work with older gay people or bring one of my dogs to a nursing home to make people happy. Or! It could be something else completely. I just need to do something to help others since that really, honestly, does make me happy. All I want in life is to make people happy and, currently, I am making zero people happy. (To my knowledge.)
Hey! This is a long time coming. I’m going to make videos for this website. Great! Get ready. They will be fun.
Stop Saying “I Know.”
I have a habit of responding to a lot of people—Specifically Bobby, my boyfriend.—with “I know.” It’s a tick that is one part “I understand.” and another part “Yeah, yeah: whatever.” or the most obnoxious “Duh. I don’t care.” Whether for better or worse, it’s something I need to purge from my vocabulary.
Finish Your Book.
Oh! I was working on this for a lot of last year and only got so far but—Surprise!—I’m trying to write a book. It’s fiction and it’s fun and I hope you will like it—I just have to finish it. (Also, side note: I’m taking a UCLA class starting this month that will help expedite the process.)
Figure Yourself Out, Dude.
As you can tell, I’m a mess. I don’t know what I want to do with my life and I’m angry and I’m generally unsatisfied with being a device used by other people (employers, brands, etc.). I’m also going to be thirty this year and I feel like little has happened in my adult life, meaning I have nothing to show for myself. I have somehow dissolved into a no one in the world. I feel like sugar in a big glass of water. So, yes, fuck shit up and get yourself together: it’s time to figure yourself out this year.
Those are all my goals / resolutions / shit I want to do this year.
But, I’m not alone: I’m in a relationship and my man and me have a lot of shit we want to do together. These are a lot more practical. GIT-R-DONE, PEOPLE.
Get Back To Paris…
We loved visiting Paris last year and are really motivated to move there by 2022. So! We want to go back, to explore the city more. How fab will that be? Fucking French ass fab.
…And Learn More French.
In order to move to France, you gotta speak the language. We made some headway last year but we need to get a bit more serious this year. Parfait! (Also, if you have any recommendations for language tools outside of Duo Lingo, let us know.)
Visit The New SFMOMA!
I got a press invite to check out the new museum so we will hopefully be up to check out the new California art space in April. I’m so excited for many reasons.
Bobby might go to Tokyo for work so, sure, why not tag along? That would be fun, if we can make it rain in that way.
Make More—Order Less!—Dinner.
We have a big problem with ordering in and eating out. It’s time to fuck up that habit and get to making food again. We’re going to focus on Mediterranean and Japanese foods. Good luck to our tired post-work hungry asses!
Be More Social—And Maybe That Means More Parties?
We are the kings of skipping parties and staying in. This needs to stop. We have to go out and see people and go places: it’s time to end that habit, too. Also, if we really want to stay in, have people over: why not throw some parties or dinners, then?
Do Something Active Together
I do lots of yoga and Bobby bikes but we want to do something active together. Maybe tennis? We’re going to to give that a try.
Support More Gay Businesses.
We keep reading how gay businesses are constantly closing because (gay) people aren’t frequenting them. From old bars to historic bookstores, we are going to do our best to visit and patronize them to keep gay history going.
Woke Parents 2016.
Here’s something real adult that we have to deal with: trying to get our parents set for the next phase in their lives. We’re going to try to support them and be more in touch with them because we’ve been majorly slacking. Thus, it’s time for us and our parents to get real woke.
Continue A Surprise You Will Find Out About At The End Of The Month!
Stay tuned. This big thing is happening and launching soon. Stoked to tell yous about it!
Phew. Lots of stuff, I know. Give me a holler if you want to help with any of this. Moreover, let me read your #goals. Sometimes it’s inspiring to read what other people hope to accomplish in the new year!