In the grand tradition of something-that-I-do-every-year, it’s time to share a few goals, resolutions, etc. things for this grand year of 2018, which I maintain will be great for us all – Personally. – but likely terrible on a macro level.
Funny enough, it feels like every year accomplishing stuff gets “easier.” Does that make sense? I’m not sure but, in reflecting on my 2017 goals, I literally accomplished them all. This is the result of a few things. First, I made the goals more realistic instead of insane, out-of-the-box unattainable and unrealistic aspirations. Second, many were repeats or expansions upon other goals or things I’m already vaguely doing. Third, I’m older with more time and money and energy to “do these things.” That makes all the difference.
So. Here are my 2018 goals in no particular order. They are posted here to ensure that these things actually happen (which, if you visit my apartment, you’ll notice a few written resolutions around: making these things known publicly with semi-public reminders is a great way to keep me accountable).
Enjoy – and good luck in the new year, creating that new you.
You know what I’ve recently realized? That there’s a lot of straight in my life, as in the majority of my world outside of my home is fairly non-queer. This isn’t bad (I’m a minority, after all.) but I realized that I have a bit of a gap between my queer identity and my queer life. How can this be fixed? Via some queer mixers. I’m hoping to have semi-regular, ideally monthly, queer mixers for LGBTQ+ people to hang out, get to know each other, and generally be. It can be hard to make and find queer friends, particularly outside of club or bar environments, and I’m hoping to get that going in a big way this year. As Kevin Abstract says, “this is a gays only event: go home.”
More Meaningful Mates
You know what I’ve also realized? I have a lot of really great friends but, for whatever reason, I’m so fucking buttoned up about my life and myself. What the fuck? So, I’d like to make these relationships – old and new – more meaningful and less distant. The older we get, the less friends we have. Why keep everyone at an arms length then? That’s what I’m hoping to change, by being more vulnerable and honest with others in the hopes of finally having friends of all stripes who I don’t feel like I’m imposing on just by sending a little text to share a thought.
That New York Times story about no shopping for a year was perfectly timed for me as I have become exhausted with buying, buying, buying and capitalism, capitalism, capitalism. I’m over stuff! I’m over shopping. Granted, I love clothing and I love to spend but there is such minimal returns for me at this point. Any store, any amount of money: I always feel like I bought a bunch of nothing. So why buy anything? I have enough stuff so I’m hoping to keep shopping at a minimum this year. To that, if I want clothing or I want to buy someone a gift, I’m aiming to only buy vintage, antique, used, etc. or dye, paint, etc. clothing I already have. In my life – and in the world – it feels like we’ve reached a max capacity of things: there’s nothing unique about new shit and, save for tech items, everything that is new has technically been made before. I can get it better, with more character, and a lot more fun via secondhand. The only things this won’t apply to is art and food but, when it comes to most other things, thrifted will do. There is no reason to be so lazy with what you bring into your life.
To that, I’d like to reduce what I have. My apartment – and my life – isn’t overflowing with stuff but I do have a lot of books I have never looked at, a lot of clothing I don’t wear, and a lot of stuff that generally doesn’t need to be in my life. And? I’d like to start purging. Be it via yard sales or simply having friends over to take things, it’s time to distill down life to the necessary. (Disclaimer: I’m by no means hoping to become a minimalist. I just want to feel not-suffocated by things.)
More Fun Reading
I read the most books in my life in 2017. I don’t remember how many but I read a shit ton, approximately three or four or even five books a month. However, a lot of these reads were for work-work or school work or some sort of something that wasn’t me reading what I wanted. This year? I want to ensure that I have at least one read a month that is me reading for fun. Moreover, I want to read more physical books. Maintain the same amount of audio books but I feel like I need to actually hold books more.
2017 was a very personally successful year for writing. I successfully went freelance! It’s been great and I have a lot of people to thank for that. But! I want to grow my writing bigger, by actually getting published by magazines, newspapers, or other physical outlets. Online is fab (And waste free!) but there’s also “more money” in getting stories published by bigger outlets. I have no idea how to “do this” but it’s a big thing I’d like to see for myself this year.
Want to know what the number one subject I discuss with my therapist is? Shame. I feel ashamed of everything I do that brings me pleasure. From going on a trip to something as mundane as masturbating, I am constantly plagued by feeling bad about feeling good. I am constantly self-shaming because I feel like I “don’t deserve” all the good, happy things in my life. So. It’s time to shame myself less. I’ve been working on this for a while because I’m, franklym exhausted by a constant, nagging, unnecessary Catholic or “formerly lower class” person guilt following me around. I have a great life. It’s time to actually enjoy what brings me joy instead of letting this happiness imposter suck out the literal life from everything. Chill, dude.
Similarly to shame, I need to give less fucks about pleasing people. I constantly feel like I’m obligated to oblige people. Why? Stop giving fucks in that regard. Be more me-me-me in that way. Obviously, this doesn’t mean being mean or harming someone but I need to boost my confidence by being less concerned with how others feel. It’s cool to care what others think and do but, dude, I’m way too focused on that. Stop!
We could all afford to be better to our bodies. I want to take this measure by reducing the amount of alcohol I put in this body.
I’m frightened of edibles and I’d like to give this a more concerted try. Also, because I had no other place to put this, I am going to be basically almost always be vegetarian and food conscious because I’m trying to save the world.