Every few years, a word is given to us by media properties hoping to sway the public into believing that there is a new type of almost-gay male. This man is not gay—but he wishes he is. Or, he acts gay—but he’s not actually gay. Or, he has sex with men—but he is surely straight. Whatever the word, the trend has continued with a new entry into this undoubtedly stupid lexical canon. Enter, the Stromo.
What is the Stromo? “‘Sraight’ plus ‘homo,'” The Hollywood Reporter boasts. The word is in reference to entertainers like Channing Tatum and Nick Jonas who are bending their appeal to a gay audience, in the hope that they cash in to the bank of [Insert Not-Gay Straight Actor Here]. They are the equivalent of mainstream Go Go Boys. It’s an uncomfortable concept that, despite the article’s being penned by noted Fag Hag Merle Ginsberg, feels utterly disgusting.
Stromos don’t necessarily have to walk the walk but can talk a good game about their man-crushes: Ryan Reynolds admits that if he were gay, it would be with Robert Pattinson. Daniel Radcliffe says he would fancy Ryan Gosling (who wouldn’t?). In times past, when Marlboro men and tough-guy icons like Jack Nicholson, Gene Hackman, Al Pacino and Robert De Niro reigned, bromance subjects Pattinson and Gosling might have sued or worse at any implication of gayness. That’s not the case today.
Fuck. That’s unsettling. Let me remind you: this is that James Franco charade masquerading as “acceptance.” Bullshit, dudes, because this is all our fault. Allowing these “Stromos” into our world is only perpetuating the myth of the jock who turns gay, the prom king who occasions penis, the gay-for-pay mentality: it’s wrong. Not only does is it fucking sexually lofty and rude to your own body (Not to mention your community.), it sends the message to future gay kids that it is OK for you to let a non-gay man into your world, to take advantage of you, and to leave whenever he wants. That’s wrong.
So, no, “Stromo.” Go home. You are not welcome here. You—Like me when I was a teenager.—need to figure your shit out before you enter our world. Support us all you want—just don’t tease.