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Patrick Wilson, A Horror Movie Treasure

Anyone can be in a horror movie. In fact, most horror movie actors are total nobodies or a seasoned actor attempting a one-off risk to boost their career, something “different” to surprise audiences. Few people return to the genre or play around with it. Few people consistently do horror while being fucking sexy.

Patrick Wilson does this. Patrick Wilson is in a lot of horror movies. He keeps being in them. He is a lauded actor with classic American looks and the kind of squint that seems to say, “Hey, hon: what’s the matter? I can tell you are having a problem. Can I help you? Can I hug you?” He does all of that just by having the face that he does.

Now add that to a horror movie. The squints become savior stares. He transform his fucking so-adorable-you-want-to-squeeze-his-face-until-it-explodes face into tangled curiosity or a startled stare. He goes from Man Next Door to Man Next Haunted House Over. Instead of wanting him to hold your hand, you want to place your head on that luscious, creamy normal-but-not-abnormal bod and have him hold you close until the ghosts go away. Pat can pat you to safety.

He is a horror movie treasure. He is an A+ thriller, appearing in critically acclaimed scary movies like The Conjuring and Insidious. Yes, these were made by the same director and is the product of his being folded into the (great) Blumhouse roster, sure, but let us not demote his being the leading horror/thriller actor we do not need but definitely deserve. He is the exact person you want leading you through the scariest shit on earth. He is here for you and has been since Phantom Of The Opera. He’s even freaked you the fuck out in Hard Candy.

Don’t stop being here for us in horror, Pat. Continue to arouse our senses while we get scared shitless. You’ll be there for us again with The Conjuring 2 and thrill films like The Hollow Point and Caught Stealing.

Thank you, Patrick Wilson. You are our hunky Halloween horror hero. Let me sit on your lap. Hold my hand so I don’t scream.

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