We talked about cock earlier today so that could only mean one thing: it’s time to turn directly to talking about penises. Here’s some penis news for you. PENIS NEWS!!

What Is The Average Penis Length And Why Is It Getting Larger?
If you were worried that penises were being left out of our evolving as a people, rest easy: dicks are actually getting bigger. Scientists recently measured the parts of military men to find that penises are larger than they have been. One funny aspect of this though: some men were asked online and they reported being almost an inch bigger than the newly larger average. Y’all lying scammer bitches: we see you.

My Boyfriend Is Wonderful And Loving—But He Has A Tiny Penis
In a slightly salty sex query, a woman concerned by her partner’s dick size was told to sit down and check herself to see if dick size really matters in a good relationship. Why? Because we are beyond pleasure. My advice? If you want that good dick but got a good man, maybe consider opening your relationship.

Did Latvia Just Use A Penis In Their Eurovision Song Contest Rehearsal?
See anything wrong with the above picture? Nothing, right? Wrong: avid dick lovers have spotted a hidden cock in the photo.

Why I Cut Off My Penis
After all these years I am still fascinated by the Wu-Tang Clan member who chopped his dick off. While the rapper—Christ Bearer—has spoken about the subject before, he’s setting the record straight now via BBC Three: it was the result of depression induced self-medicating via drugs and alcohol. Poor dude.

This Woman Got Revenge On Her Husband In the Worst Possible Way
A woman suspected her husband of cheating and, upon finding out she was right, cut his dick off with scissors. Ouch. When interrogated on the matter, the woman gave the ultimate middle finger of answers. “I don’t regret cutting off his penis,” she said. “It’s his punishment for being a womanizer.” Hell yeah, this woman.

Scott Baio’s Wife Renee Defends His Penis
“Actor” Scott Baio is a different type of dick who apparently may have a tiny tadger. After former co-star Erin Moran passed away, Baio blamed it on her doing drugs and alcohol. In response, Moran’s brother spilled the tea on why she dumped Baio back then: because of his small dick. Baio’s wife now is now vouching that the statement is a lie because, well, she would know.

This Is What It’s Like To Work In A Penis Museum
The “Icelandic Phallological Museum” is a museum dedicated to penis. It claims to be non-pornographic and displays the private parts of various creatures to observe for educational purposes. What a beautiful thing! So why haven’t more people been talking about this? Boost this shit by watching the above tour of the facility.

Why Does My Penis Look Bent When It’s Erect?
If you are a fan of penises, you will come across some that bend left or right or that even seem to abruptly curve at an angle. What’s up with those? Some are the byproduct of trauma to the penis and incorrect healing that is skewing the cock in a different direction. There doesn’t seem to be any real problems with this but it might cause anxiety about sex because, well, your penis is all bent out of shape.

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