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PENIS NEWS!! HERE’S SOME PENIS NEWS!!

A lot of penis stories have been trending. So? It’s time for some penis news. PENIS NEWS!!

Washington Coach Pulls Out Dong, Pees Freely Before The Masses During Game [NSFW]
A coach just couldn’t be bothered by taking a bathroom break so, of course, he went full man and pissed in a cup on the sideline. This is a ridiculous story and the photo is a non-issue as it looks like neither a non-large nor non-small thumb in a cup. Takeaway: this is kind of hot if it weren’t with an audience of fifty thousand people.

Think Your Sex Life Is Bad? These Worms Harpoon Each Other With Their Penises
Flatworms have crazy sex lives that are especially crazy because their penises are swords that they use to fence. How does someone win? By stabbing the other and inseminating them. What a great game!

Subverting the Erect Penis: How Trans Artist niv Acosta Challenges Masculinity
Artist niv Acosta is using the penis to not only rethink masculinity but also desire. By focusing on the non-erect penis, fashioning the form in different materials, Acosta is attempting to transform the object from oppressive and violent into something a lot more pleasant.

Venomous Spider Bites Man’s Penis in Portable Toilet For The Second Time
If you got your part bitten by a spider in a portable toilet one time, would you ever go to the bathroom in a portable toilet ever again? Moreover, wouldn’t you be super extra careful about spiders and toilets and intimate encounters thenceforth? You would think. But, for some, the answer is a definitive no.

What Do Penis Pumps Actually Do?
Spoiler alert: it doesn’t make the penis bigger. So what are they better suited for? “Masturbation enhancers only.” Sorry, Austin Powers.

Guy’s Penis Snaps In Half During Rough Sex And Photos Will Scar You
I am grossly, disgustingly fascinated with stories of broken penises. I suppose the reason is because, as long as you see the monster, you will never be the monster. Case in point: this man’s story of having too-rough-sex leading to a broken penis. The photos are bad but not that bad. Why? Because, once you have seen the photos of a broken penis, they all look the same: like a blood sausage too engorged with internal bleeding.

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