I might not be posting as much next week since I’m ~*~OfFiCiALLy~*~ on vacation. Thus, enjoy some penis news. PENIS NEWS!!

This Man’s Big Mistake Ended Up Exposing the Truth About His “Tiny” Penis
Imagine you got a baby cock. Imagine you’re trying to get a scheming ex to stop telling people about your baby cock. Imagine you try to go to one of the sources—Their friend.—to say “Stop with the baby cock gossip!” for it only to go to the wrong person. Imagine you just told some stranger that you have a “baby cock.” Imagine.

Mexico City Metro’s ‘Penis Seat’ Sparks Debate
UN Women in Mexico launched a campaign seeking to raise awareness of sexual harassment on public transportation. How? They created a seat with a dick that made it uncomfortable to sit and make you realize what it’s like for these frottagers to put themselves on a woman. Bleh but brilliant.

This New Species of Worm Snail Is Basically a Penis
In case you were looking for a new underwater creature that is phallic, here’s something for you: this crazy new Worm Snail. It even looks like it’s cut, too.

Michelle Rodriguez Picked Her Own Prosthetic Penis and Went on Tinder During ‘The Assignment’
You know that transphobic Michelle Rodriguez movie about her getting “revenge sex reassigned”? Well, one interesting method acting news bite to come out of it: Rodriguez actually picked a dick out for her “male” parts in the film. Of course she went with the biggest she could find, citing that she’s been with skinny guys who are hung. Haven’t we all.

Doctor Sliced Off Four-Year-Old Boy’s PENIS While Performing Circumcision
Squirm away, friends: this is a real story. It all happened as a four year old boy was taken to get a circumcision, his father went to take a photo, the boy moved, and—POOF!—sliced off. As the article notes, the organ “fell to the floor.” Thankfully, the part has since been reattached. Imagine the horror though!

Is Wolverine Circumsized?
This is a fascinating question. If Wolverine—a self-healing mutant—was circumsized as a child, did his foreskin grow back when his powers were realized? This is a question I will think about for years.

These Penis-Shaped Routes Are Funny—But the Message Is Serious
To highlight the importance of testicular cancer, people in New Zealand are being encouraged to run routes in penis shapes to raise awareness of the disease. Genius.

Girl Wears Penis Ring Like A Bracelet After Aunty’s Boyfriend Left It Out
What happens when you leave your cock ring out in a household where children live? It gets worn around. That’s exactly what one couple found out after a niece was parading around with the boyfriend’s hot pink sex toy on her wrist. Salty.

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