Queering Christ

Jesus was a man. He had feelings. He had thoughts. He had desires. Was Jesus sexual? I’ve actually never thought about this until recently (although I have thought several times that Jesus took a dump like the rest of us: if he was truly human and drank as much wine as the Bible claimed, he had some fucked up insides like we human people).

But could the Jesus Of Christ experience sexual attraction? If so, who was he sexually attracted to? This is a subject that I have thought about but never really took seriously because I think every is gay. (Or sexually attracted to me.) Since childhood, I always thought that Jesus wasn’t anything else than an infantile sexual attraction based on a sinewy build and peeping hip-bones. It may have been his long, wavy hair, too. Jesus is hot.

If he was so hot back then, he probably could have had any ass that he wanted. Some theorize that he and Mary Magdalene—famed reformed whore of the scripture—had something going on. If you ask me, this hints at Jesus’ savvy to save the best babe for himself. But was Jesus attracted to men? According to some theologians, yes, Jesus was very gay. Or queer! He was something out of the ordinary, most definitely.

In speaking with gay pastor Dr. Reverend Bob Shore-Goss, Vice explores the idea of Christ’s questionable sexual and gender identity. It’s all so super fascinating and sexually arousing!

So what evidence is there in the bible of Jesus’s homosexuality?
There’s hints of it, and then there’s readings into it. The hints come from John’s Gospel with the “beloved disciple.” He and Jesus have an intimate relationship, although there are questions as to who the disciple actually is. Anyhow, the beloved disciple is lying on the chest of Jesus at the last supper and is supposedly in his “inner tunic,” which is what we would call underwear today. It’s a very intimate gesture, and it’s a special gesture of affection between the two.

Oh my! Also, he had to have some inclination of homosexuality or exploration. He was human! Dr. Shore-Goss puts it wonderfully:

If Jesus was fully human, he must have been fully erotic. That would mean that sexuality was a positive thing, because we need to reclaim the fact that sexuality is a great and good thing, whatever sexuality that you are. So, you see where I’m coming from? I want to say that all sexualities are an original blessing because we’re made in the image of God.

What a wonderful thought. I’m not sure this way of queer thinking could spread mainstream or if such outlooks could get me back in the church saddle again—but I do love this conversation. It’s waking up decades old spirituality that has been dormant inside me. Thank you for the ecclesiastic erection, Lord!

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