Ranking Clothing From PornHub

Don’t you love it when the sex industry or people who work near sex try to branch out, diversifying their brand to be more than tits and ass and dick and taint? It’s so refreshing. It’s inspiring and it’s desperate and it makes everyone around them go, “Huh?” PornHub is a sex brand so intent on unsexing themselves—or trying to make you laugh—that they require attention for everything they do.

First, it was music. Then, it was a scholarship. Now? Clothing!

This inaugural capsule collection is launching today and will have an NYC based pop-up shop attached to it. The wears are designed by various artists who interpret what PornHub is through their look. Complex reports that the clothes are supposed to “pay homage to New York” too but, because sex is universal and PornHub is available worldwide, you can obviously tell that these clothes can’t be tied down. It’s also funny that a company so concerned with taking clothing off is making clothing.

The obvious question: are any of the wears wearable? It’s not as bad as it could be, which is good news for someone. A good deal of the clothes are kind of cool! Since there are only four movements to the hat, t-shirt, and tank top or hoodie collection, here’s a ranking of the top four items by artistic contribution.

cope2 pornhub street art graffiti capsule collection NYC 1234KYLE5678

4. Cope2
Cope2‘s looks are just screenprinted tags. They’re colorful and curvy yet super nineties not great. Not bad! Just not worth buying from PornHub. Cope does deserve some credit for turning the H in the title into a sexy butt.

CES Pornhub capsule collection clothing NYC 1234KYLE5678

3. CES
It’s admirable how much CES fits into his shirt without making it unlikable: there are sexy, heeled, tattooed legs standing in exploded semen filled spray paint cans as a giant, discrete PornHub train passes behind it while the CES moon rises. This isn’t bad, actually. Of the entire lot, this is the least overtly “PornHub.”

Baron Von Fancy Zone Out With Your Bone Out NYC pornhub 1234KYLE5678

2. Baron Von Fancy
Baron Von Fancy succeeds in his being so forward and without the words “PornHub” on the majority of the designs: it’s just a handwritten encouragement, “ZONE OUT WITH YOUR BONE OUT.” The design could easily pass as inoffensive, an accomplishment as this is a clothing collection for pornographers. The only lame part of his entries is that he had to make a hat that just blurts “PornHub” with as much enthusiasm as ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Kalen Hollomon Art Pornhub clothing collage NYC 1234KYLE5678

1. Kalen Hollomon
Hollomon‘s work is easily the artsiest, coolest, and most wearable out of the bunch. It’s degendered and weird and it even makes using the logo look good. The collage aesthetic works really well for graphic clothing for someone like PornHub. It’s sexy and silly and is a remarkable accomplishment that this came out of the collection. It’s very tempting to buy one of Hollomon’s designs…

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