Seven Last Minute Halloween Costumes

Halloween is literally Monday but you literally need a costume by tonight because you literally are probably going to parties starting now through Tuesday.

To help, I’ve brainstormed a few topical, easy, fun costumes that you can whip together with a few dollars and a few minutes. Enjoy seven last minute Halloween costumes for 2016.

Hulk Hogan & Gawker
FOR: The Internet lover and media consumer who is still mourning the loss of their daily read.
WHY: This is a good attempt at topicality while being somewhat ridiculous with your incarnation of Hulk. The best version of this is to go as courtroom Hulk and rip apart Gawker logos all night. This could be spread into a partner costume though, with one person as Hulk and another person as Gawker (or Peter Thiel).
Black do-rag.
White handlebar mustache
• Black blazer
Black t-shirt
• Silver cross necklace
Printed Gawker logos

Marina Abromavic At 70
FOR: The alt-person who wants to be, like, artsy but not, like, obvi.
WHY: The iconic performance artist is going to be turning seventy at the end of November, as was recently the subject of a big story by New York Magazine. Why not be this stylish artist, soon-to-be birthday girl then?! Bonus points if you sit in a corner and cry all night.
Black coverall, cuffed at arms and legs for style
Straight black wig
• 70th birthday button

Drunk Jimmy Fallon
FOR: The comedy lover who wants to go there.
WHY: To me, there is nothing funnier or sadder than drunk Jimmy Fallon. Once you realize that he’s a giant boozer and that every media item you see him in probably involves his being intoxicated, things take an entirely different context. Raise awareness of (his) alcoholism by being drunk him complaining about James Corden!
Navy suit, with tie and white shirt
NBC pin
• Constantly full glass of beer

FOR: The fashion fuccboi or fuccgirl who wants to be obviously cool without being obvi cool because they are over Vetements already (and have all the accessories because they are still actually still into it).
WHY: Because you want to seem like you know about fashion.
DHL t-shirt
Short sleeve black button-up
• Leather pants
• Black Doc Martens™ boots
NOTE: If you add a pair of sports sunglasses and this costume can easily be changed to Guy Fieri.

Carly Fiorina & Ted Cruz
FOR: The political junkie or person who doesn’t want to go obvi with a Trump or Clinton family member but still wants to make people LOL because hashtag 2016. Also: an easy couple’s costume.
WHY: See below Vine.

Red dress
Navy suit, with tie and white shirt
• Cruz / Fiorina stickers and swag
• A constantly bumbling hand grab

Cher On Twitter
FOR: The gay person or the political person who doesn’t want to be Ted Cruz or Carly Fiorina.
WHY: Cher has been the breakout Twitter star of this election. Her Tweets are golden commentary and she is, of course, iconic in a new sort of grande dame techno grandma sort of way.
Leather jacket
Black shirt
• Skinny jeans, ripped
Raspberry beanie
• iPhone
• Printouts of Cher’s Tweets on index cards, to handout to people

FOR: The political person and meme lover who wants to be neither of the above and wants to go all in on a costume that many people will probably be.
WHY: We have to reclaim this image as not-a-hate-symbol!
Lots of green body paint
Brown lipstick
• Blue t-shirt
• Short athletic shorts (a la)
• Bulging eyes
• The line “Feels good, man.”

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