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Seven Late Winter Patterns For Spring (Or Seven Early Spring Patterns For Winter)

We’re in a weird time of year, an in between time when we zoom out from one season and zooming into another. That transition is hardest when we move from aggressive, mean, ugly Winter on to rosy and bright and hopeful Spring: how do you dress? I, personally, don’t really deal with this issue since I live within a constant ray of sunshine in Los Angeles but I still have some trouble with this transition in terms of aesthetics, reflecting the change of seasons in what I wear. The best way to capture this is through an oxymoronic pattern that straddles both seasons, one that occupies both coldness with warmness. Is that possible? Of course it is! Here are seven patterns that occupy this between point: let them be at the center of your mood board for this time of year. Let them guide you toward the light.

(And note that only  like one of these I can actually afford. This is some aspirational bullshit.)

Valentino’s Olive Multicolored Camo Tote: Like some Andy Warhol pattern fucking an army pattern, the tension between dark woodsieness with faggy floralness. Not only is this fun but your dad will like make a great comment about this.

Sandro’s Spectral Sweatshirt: If you were to squint at space but instead of stars were shards of a kaleidoscope, you would have this sweater. The pattern is is both elegant and understated yet overstated and like black noise sprinkling over your nineties colored television.

Club Monaco’s Slim-Fit Pointer Spot Shirt: This is a knock off of this Marni shirt and feels like flowers of a magnolia tree skating across a fucking bitchy ass ice cold pond. Fuck you, Winter.

Lanvin’s Purple Metallic High-Top Sneakers: Sometimes I like to stare at puddles of gasoline and wish that they weren’t poisonous but that I could drink that unicorny liquid, letting its magical iridescence slide down the back of my throat and into my stomach to make my innards and excrement all glittery. Gasoline does smell good. Dame mas gasolina.

Naked And Famous’ Floral Print Shirt: Hibiscus flowers prints outside of a Hawaiian shirt are basically a crime unless their coloration is pitched down as a somber honor that they are not on a Hawaiian shirt. That is what this shirt does: it’s very evenly hot and cold.

COS’ Printed Oxford Shirt: I hate it when snow melts and it shows off the old sticks and dirt underneath it. Snow is pretty and dirt pretty but, when you are in between the two, shit is ugly. Yet, from far away it’s quite attractive. By the way, does anyone use Morse Code anymore?

Paul Smith’s Cream Cactus Print Mari Shirt: Desaturated succulents are a reminder that everything dies, which is important to know now because everything is both dying and coming to life. Happy this-time-of-year!

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