Should You Really Ice That Burger, Spam Lord?

The Internet is a lovely source of oddity, particularly by way of spam.

I love spam because it’s such a good manifestation of missed connections, of humans trying to connect with humans by way of non-human interference. It’s the original “fake news,” the first “bot,” these messages that seem to be – or could be – from a real person or could just be an imitation of real life. They use ridiculous premises to suck you in – Look at this celebrity now! You won’t believe how to lose weight this way! Have you tried these berries? – and, while Buzzfeed seems to have capitalized on the click, spam is the original bait.

I was recently caught by a little spam that featured an uncooked beef patty with a dome of ice atop of it. The description of the picture was also captivating: “After Seeing Why He Places An Ice Cube On His Burger When Grilling, I’ll Never Make One Any Other Way” It is indeed ice on a burger? That looks very unseasoned? Who is the He? Who is the I? Why am I getting this advertisement on Gizmodo?

Because I am hashtag that guy living on the edge, I clicked the story going to GND.com which I have never heard of and I refuse to click on again to see what that site is. It was, surprisingly, indeed an article about wetting your burger and weird grilling tricks which was surprising because usually these advertisements take you to a slideshow hell where you can’t find what you were baited in to find. However, I found exactly what I was looking for quite easily.

Do you have problems keeping your meat moist? To avoid dried out burgers, try putting ice cubes atop your patties as you grill. The heat will gradually melt them, but the ice cubes will keep the burgers nice and juicy throughout the grilling process. An alternative option is to place a pat of butter on each burger

Interesting. I, personally, don’t think that advice is sound. It sounds like an old wive’s tale or some sort of digital hogwash.

So, I looked it up and was surprised to find that this is actually a legitimate piece of culinary advice instead of digital hogwash. It actually comes from Masterchef and Top Chef‘s Graham Elliott of all people. He explained to Fox News in 2015:

The chef says the secret to a great burger is putting an ice cube in the middle of the patty before you grill it.

“Make your patties, then put your little ice cube in there and then when you grill it, it keeps it moist and keeps it from getting dried out,” Elliot told FoxNews.com.

And there you have it: this spam is actually quite real, a legitimate piece of information.

I’ve verified it otherwise, by a few other resources from Lifehacker to Fine Cooking, both of whom seem to link back to this thing that Graham Elliott “invented.” Thus, we know the “he” in question (although we may never know the “I” because I refuse to give GND the benefit of another click).

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