Over a year ago, a (former) member of Wu-Tang Clan went a bit crazy on drugs and proceeded to cut off his penis. It was not entirely severed but he obviously did not do himself any favors with the act. So what is life like with a chopped off pee pee? It definitely is uncomfortable, I can assure you.
The rapper—Christ Bearer—had what I assume is his first sit down interview post-penis panic, where the interviewer did not shy away from the subject. The interview is a big thirty minutes long and around the 11:30 point they start getting into the thick of the penile defiling. It is a long questioning of his masculinity that will make you squirm and maybe laugh—but mostly squirm.
When forwardly asked if he did indeed commit the act, he responded curtly with “I didn’t cut my penis off.” and follows up with the more defensive, “I get more pussy than you!” Then, the truth is revealed: “Now, I did cut a lot of my penis off,” he corrects. Yeesh. He does say that it still works and, thanks to being well endowed, he is able to work with what he has. The idea of penile reattachment is a strictly a myth, we learn, as Bearer assures us that it did not work for him and likely couldn’t work for anyone. Fuck.
There are two great takeaways from the interview—and they shine a light on what life with a chopped off pee pee is like. First, you gotta own what you did: Bearer is really, really proud of his accomplishment because he doesn’t think anyone else has done it. Honestly, that’s the most unexpected side effect of the happening. I guess you have to turn lemons into lemonade even though your penis has trouble making it? Secondly, you gotta be down to talk about it: even though this interview is with him and “about anything,” the takeaway is you are always going to have to talk about your cut dick. That’s what made the headlines. Was his pursuing a post-Tang rap career talked about? Not sure—but we do learn that frustration and no sleep and drugs lead to cutting off your junk.
Also, get a vasectomy if you have too many kids—and don’t watch Seth MacFarlane shows. That’s partly what drove him to cut it off, in his words. You can watch the video below and cringe. Bless you, Christ Bearer. You truly are a saint, even though you don’t know how you technically cut your own dick off.