Some Candy That Looks Like Ecstasy

Ecstasy is not candy. Is it? Someone has to think it’s candy that puts cute polka dots in your brain but, no, it is not candy

Is there candy that looks like ecstasy? Of course there is, you idiot! German gummy producers Haribo came up with a great idea to get kids into that imitation drug life by making an ecstasy candy. Called “DJ Brause Sauer” (“DJ Sour Fizz”), the candy is a sweet-and-sour chewy made in the image of music command buttons. There’s a play, a rewind, a pause, and a stop which are flavored as waldmeister, orange, strawberry, and cola, respectively. Yum! I’m ready for my True Life closeup, Mom!

So, grab your candy cigarettes and get you some DJ Brause Sauer, kids, because it’s time to get fake fucked up. Maybe treat yourself to these and have a double feature screening of Enter The Dangerous Mind and We Are Your Friends? Pop that Martinelli’s and dance until a little after 11PM, when your mom tells you that you have to go to bed. But, yes, you can pop those fake brain bugs the next morning, Champ.

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