Because of Rule 34, anything you can imagine being a fetish or sexually satisfying is indeed a fetish or sexually satisfying to someone. That’s just how it is. This is unsurprising considering my view of any new object is: 1.) How can someone get off on this? and 2.) How could this kill someone? I have yet to have this logic fail me.
One of the most inane yet absolutely bizarre incarnations of this theory is the heartbeat, our own little monitor of life and soldier of vitality: some people get off on heartbeats. It’s called an auscultation fetish, which I discovered while reading the sex subreddit. In the thread, a man details that his girlfriend gets really turned on by listening to his heartbeat. It turns him on, too.
I initially thought this was bogus but many videos of people sharing their heartbeats and websites dedicated to this idea very much prove some people are turned on by life. The practice is called “stething” and is likely the most common form of getting down with auscultation. Some people fixate on the heartbeats while perusing the comments on any video will show that any bodily sound can be erotic.
There’s something so beautiful about this: people want to fuck because they can hear someone is alive. It sounds kind of sweet! I personally do not see the appeal (Hey: not my fetish.) and I actually have a personal aversion to my own heartbeat, almost to the point of anxiety. Auscultation just seems so sweet though, like a “fetish” that shouldn’t be embarrassing since it’s so natural: everyone has a heartbeat. I wonder if these people really dig songs like “Heartbeat” by Annie (or Don Johnson). It seems like they would find that to be their sex anthem.
Thank you, Internet, for showing this world of heartbeat fuckers to me. I think they’re really sweet!