Sorry, Cat People: Dogs Are Just Smarter So Deal With It And If You Have A Problem You Can Call Science

Hey, you know what? Dogs are smart.

“No, no,” you say. “Cats are smarter.”


“They just are,” you reply. “They have a sort of sophisticated intelligence that you just wouldn’t understand.”

I call bullshit on that. Not because I love dogs but because their thorough presence – as opposed to reservation and reclusion – reveal an intelligence that the feline set seems to be without.

“But – ”

But your butt, you butthead. I have science proof, courtesy of the journal Frontiers in Neuroanatomy via NBC News.

Dogs’ brains have more than twice as many cortical neurons — the cells linked to thinking, planning and complex behavior — than cats’ brains do.

The team, working at universities and zoos around the world, counted the number of cortical neurons in eight carnivorans, a large class of mammals that have teeth and claws that allow them to eat other animals. (That’s different from carnivores, the much larger class of all meat-eating animals, including humans and other primates.)

They found that dogs have about 530 million cortical neurons, while cats have about 250 million.


“Well, my cat can – ”

This doesn’t mean your cat isn’t smart or that cats are bad. That’s not what science – Or me! – are saying.

“I just – ”

I’m going to let a scientist talk now.

Our findings mean to me that dogs have the biological capability of doing much more complex and flexible things with their lives than cats can.

I’m sorry.


Cats are great but dogs are just smarter and nicer and more sensitive and more loving and like small people wrapped in fur bodies whose lives are condensed to shorter periods of time so they express their adoration for us in more concentrated doses and no other animal in the world does that and they are simply smarter and nicer and, although some cats can be smart and nice and cute, dogs just do it better. I’m sorry. It’s science.

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