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Sparkling Wine Is Adult Soda

At a dinner last week, one of my favorite subjects came up: sparkling wine. We were in the company of two fairly reputable chefs and I had to ask if my love of these bubbly drinkers, from cava to champagne, are indeed as lovely as I imagine them to be or if this is a sort byproduct of gayness that no one has articulated yet. Fortunately, they concurred: sparkling wines are greatly undervalued and they indulge in them just as much as I do.

Why? Because sparkling wines go with everything and, in effect, are adult soda. They have the same effervescence as a McDonald’s fountain Coca Cola. They have that spice akin to a root beer. They fizz up your nose like a too excited 7Up. The only difference is they aren’t artificially sweet (Most aren’t sweet at all, really.) and that they’re alcoholic. They are adult soda.

This is a thought that I have long held for this weekend treat: sparkling wine is liquid unwinding, created to pep you up and let go. The affordable versions of the wine—Freixenet, Michelle, Cristalino, etc.—are fitting replacements to soda because they aren’t that much more expensive and are a lot more fun. They make a weekend.

“Why wouldn’t I just get beer?” you ask. “What about cider?”

Well, okay, sure: valid point. But those two aren’t as complex. A sparkling wine can cut through fat and is a great item to go high-low with, one part of the highly coveted champagne and fried chicken combo. Taking it further, sparkling rosé are an even better match for most foods because that’s in their nature. Food & Wine explains:

Sparkling rosés—which are pink because the winemaker either blends red wine into the white or leaves the red grapes on their skins for a short period of time, so the color bleeds—often have a little bit more body and fruitier flavors than white sparkling wines, making them especially versatile.

Because of their being fuller figured wines, they can fight off big flavors without dominating your palate like an aggressive red nor do they fall over, becoming de facto water, like beer or cider.

Another great thing about sparkling wines: they balance out spicy food. They also add a unique texture to an eating experience that, like soda, adds some excitement to food that could otherwise be boring. No wonder they make so many canned sparkling wines: to mimic the drinkability of soda.

As I have made much of my adult life’s work, I urge you unlock sparkling wine in your mind, taking it out from the vault of New Year’s to indulge in from Thursdays to Sundays. Why? Because you only live fucking once and sparkling wine is a fucking good thing you can’t enjoy when you’re dead. If you love life, drink sparkling wine.

And, remember, I am here for your sparkling wine needs: Tweet me or email me if you ever need any advice. Or, you know, Google. Cheers!

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