A new Star Wars movie is coming. It should be good. I am barely excited about the franchise but am excited for movies because movies are movies and a movie of this caliber demands my attention, if only for the sake of cultural consciousness. I wish it was a French film. What would French Star Wars be like?
Here is the answer: a segment from a live variety show that I assume was made in late 1970s France. It features dancing C3POs and cape twirling Darth Vader’s set to jaunty, pipe played Naboo music. There is a lot of choreography. There is nothing about the actual film. The theme to Star Wars is exploded by a horn section seeking to make a dancified version of the iconic film score into a jazzy toe tapper. There is a lot of blue screen work—and thank god for that. It’s as if David Lynch produced a musical version of the movie for a cable access show.
This is what I wish the new—and all the—Star Wars films were. This is a treat. I want to see Star Wars in France.