Stray Observations From A Day At Disney

For Labor Day – and because two of my bffs were in the Los Angeles area – we decided to go to Disney.

It was fun! Although, full disclosure, I hate Disney. I hate the crowds, I hate the lines, I hate the fandom, I hate the consumerism: it’s a lot of things that make me uncomfortable but, alas, there is some magic there and we had a good time.

While I did notice a lot of weird shit about the general Disney culture, most of the observations made were about the strangeness of the world in a place that is such an ample cross-section of society. It is a collision of types from near and far, all coming together in the name of The Mouse.

People have hashtags on their shirts.
As if their torso is a clickable link to see what conversations are happening around a subject, people wear things like hashtags on t-shirts. I get having a URL on a shirt (Marketing!) but a hashtag seems like the runoff of something like Vine manifested literally atop of breasts to say, “I know this strange Internet thing you might not know about.” To the contrary, people wore needless hashtags that neither showed being an insider in a conversation or really to say anything: they were simply the means of a t-shirt maker to glom onto something “happening” without understanding the context in which these things exist.

Emoji fashion was in too – but not as much as I anticipated.
Same as above but, surprisingly, there weren’t as many as I thought given the world we live in, post-Emoji Movie. The funny thing about this is that they often collided in a mélange of Internet psychobabble. An example of this: a child, maybe five years old, wearing a shirt that featured “#BOSS” below an emoji face with gigantic buff arms that was dabbing. That, friends, is the state of today. (For those curious, it was more or less this shirt.)

Families be fighting.
At one point, we took a brief ice cream reprieve with “hard frozen” (AKA, frozen solid) treats next to a family who were griping about what to do, with parents pointing fingers about plans dissolving as grandparents on wheels shook their heads, not wanting to step in. It was simultaneously hysterical and awful to behold, considering this occurred after watching a father and mother who lost their child yell at an employee about how it was his fault. This was followed by a mother telling a group of children stuck in a post-parade bottleneck, “Why do we have to wait? Because you wanted to watch the parade.” Families are weird. It’s strange that we form these blood bonds that frequently feature constant disagreement.

There were more people donning feminism than conservatism.
I saw a “Future Is Female” shirt, a Tory Burch for Hillary Clinton shirt, a “Nevertheless She Persisted” tank top, and a Ruth Bader Ginsburg shirt. That’s a lot of great feminism in one Disney! Comparatively, I only saw one shirt that featured Jesus on a cross (with “He died so we can live.” on it) and another, silly, religious parody shirt akin to “A Breadcrumb & Fish.” What does this tell you? We are in California. But what does it also say? Perhaps times are shifting where the Jesus couture is ruled out by feminism.

It’s “easy” to smoke in the bathroom.
I brought a weed pen with me to the park and fully intended on smoking up a lot but didn’t have the time or space or venue for such activities. But, at a certain point, I had to use a bathroom and decided to go into a stall. It was busy but empty in the place so I thought, “Well…why not smoke up and blow any byproduct into my sweater, into my bag?” I did it and…no trouble! Not that I am condoning breaking the rules but, if you find yourself in this position, the bathrooms are a nice reprieve for something like a vaporizer – but not an actual blunt. You will smoke everyone out and get in big trouble.

Do same sex women stand out more?
While I did see one or two gay dude couples amongst single gay boys with friends and family, what was more noticeable were the gay lady couples who were holding hands and riding rides and going places. They didn’t don any “She’s my princess!” shirts or rainbow Disney paraphernalia but they were very visibly out and about in a way that the gay males were not. It was nice to see but made me wonder if they were either more of them or if they stand out in a way that gay men do not, passing off as bros unless feminized otherwise.

If you look hard enough, you will find dogs.
I literally saw six dogs. Six. Each one was a joy, from the two working black Labs to the tiny puffball Chihuahua to the pointy short haired mutt to the matted fluffy Poodle type to the Mickey Mouse ear wearing Golden Retriever. Yes, they all had certifications to be there (And, honestly, it would be such a nightmare to bring a dog there.) but it offered a peek into unbridled innocence that many at Disney hope to find.

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