The 25 Days Of Honda Days: Day XVII, 2011 Honda Accord

On the seventeenth day of Honda Days, Honda gave to me: a 2011 Honda Accord.

The Accord.
It’s the Civic but heavier.
It has a “donk,” as they say.
Why? Because of more trunk space, one can assume.

My shirt is huge, like the Accord’s bulbous backside.
Why is that?
It belonged to my grandfather.
He was a large man.
I still wear the shirt and think of him but mostly feel like an Olsen twin, before The Row, when they wore giant shirts and very tiny, skinny, little leggings or pants.
Finger puppets, I would call them.

• My grandfather’s Ralph Lauren flannel.
• Oak shorts – but they weren’t made by Oak but sold by them.
• Camper sandals.

Wearing this shirt makes me self-conscious.
Because, ironically, it pushes people’s gender buttons.
It can be androgynous and, in some ways, girly.
I like that.
But it stresses me out.

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