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The 25 Days Of Honda Days: Day XX, 2015 Honda Crosstour

On the twentieth day of Honda Days, Honda gave to me: a 2015 Honda Crosstour.

Design: The Crosstour is definitely the biggest Honda I have ever seen. It may be comparable to the Pilot but it feels much larger because it’s so round and squat. Remember the last scene in Before Sunset where Julie Delpy describes Nina Simone’s butt as “that big cute ass“? I can relate to that idea via this car. (But less so about the cute: it’s just a big ass.)

Aesthetic: As Claude VonStroke would say, this car is big ‘n round.

2015 Honda Crosstour Happy Honda Days 1234KYLE5678 sales event of the year 3 Christmas Car

vintage denim Adidas hat // J.Crew Factory Classic Frame Sunglasses // COS Arch Shape Earrings // AMI Logo Patch Sweatshirt // “Wilderness Outfitters” blue flannel // vintage Levi’s shorts that someone sold to me and told me “These shorts are like a bad habit: you’ll wear them every day!” and he was right // old ass low top white Converse

Features: “22 city / 31 hwy” miles per gallon. Five seats. $27K.

Honda Dayness: While this care is the newest and most expensive Honda on the list, this is probably the most Honda Day because it is overwhelmingly bad. It gets terrible gas mileage and is giant and ugly and expensive. This is the reason for the season: killing the planet at very high costs.

How Happy Does This Honda Make Me? Real me? Not happy. Honda me? This car is perfect. Long live the sales event of the year and my attempt at looking like a casual French boy.

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