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The Adulterous Truth Behind Piña Colada

You know that song about piña coladas? “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)“? What is it about? I bet you have no idea what the truth behind it is.

This liquor loving song by Rupert Holmes is a staple for the Boomer drinking crowd and seems to be all about a love for tiki drinks. That’s true! But it’s also about so much more.

My aunt has been talking about this recently, impressing and impressing upon Bobby and I that this song is about something much bigger and weirder. Let’s look at the first part of the song to see what she’s talking about.

I was tired of my lady
We’d been together too long
Like a worn out recording
Of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleepin’
I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns
There was this letter I read

A guy who is in a relationship and is over it and then turns to the personal columns with what is the chorus, where he looks for someone who likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain and making love at midnight and looking for an escape posted a note. Interesting.

This leads us to the next verse.

I didn’t think about my lady
I know that sounds kind of mean
But me and my old lady
Had fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper
Took out a personal ad
And though I’m nobody’s poet
I thought it wasn’t half bad

So this request, this looking for a piña lover, is met by this man stepping out by posting his own ad with his own proclaiming of a love for similar things. Dude, you are not being good to your partner!

It gets better. Or worse! Here’s the climactic last verse.

So I waited with high hopes
And she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant
I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady
And she said, “Aw, it’s you”
Then we laughed for a moment
And I said, “I never knew”

This song, if you’re missing it, is about a couple who both are over each other and try to step out, only to find each other, pointing out at each other that they are both going to be complacently complacent together. Did you fucking know that? It’s mesmerizingly ridiculous and, while about booze, is about wanting to step out only to end up elsewhere.

Sure, the song might be about a relationship that needs lots of help but it’s also about loving your lover in a new way, filling in each other’s blanks. It’s cute! It’s weird. It’s not what we were thinking.

You can watch the song performed below. You will never think about this song in the same way again.

Photo via.

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