Rihanna dropped a new song today. It’s pretty good! She’s tied up her Caribbean flair with Drake’s low hum of a rap and it’s pretty fucking fantastic.
But! It’s only streaming on Tidal. You can buy the song on iTunes but that’s probably the only other way to get it. I went to find the song on YouTube and, unfortunately, any copy of the song is getting pulled down super fast. Damn. Them Roc Nation police are on the scene.
So what comes up when you search for the new Rihanna/Drake song on YouTube? A lot of interesting songs that are not by Rihanna but all hoping to dangle you in with their clickbait. It’s fascinating, digging into who is trying to ride the Ri coattails and get a few listens. They got me several times so, to honor them and this silly Internet economy, here are the best (“best”) not-Rihanna songs posted to YouTube as the new Rihanna song.
Note that the Roc Nation police are pulling down the fakes pretty fast, too: listen to these gems (“gems”) while you can.
(Clickbait) Title: Rihanna – Work (Feat Drake) [Official Audio] | FULL SONG
Description: A rap song that is produced like five songs over each other, one of which was a lullaby and another of which was a Drake song. It’s actually Yung Jules’ “Change Up” which came out last Summer and got a quarter of a million hits. It’s a slow, hazy, drunk or on Codeine rap about needing to “change up.” As the first commenter said, “It’s a good song but not what I was looking for lmao” Right. lmao.
(Clickbait) Title: Rihanna ft Drake – Work FULL TRACK
Description: This was definitely made on GarageBand and the singer—Daiyaan Hyder—is a gem of a lyricist, which are all broadcast on this video. For example: look at the below, which were copied from the video.
• Yo girl wana role with me / So ima let her role with me tonight
• This that feeling / That feeling that I’m feeling / That feeling that your feeling girl I’m feeling / See that feeling feels so right
• Yo girl wana role with me / She got a real nice figure and physique
As his Soundcloud points out, “THIS SONG IS ABOUT THIS GUYS GIRLFRIEND ROLLIN WITH ME.” There you go.
(Clickbait) Title: Rihanna – Work Ft. Drake
Description: This song is mostly a guy counting and saying “shawty” and talking about getting high over really fuzzy, bassy beats. I think at some point he says Lena Dunham? I can’t tell. The piano is also not a very good reproduction of a piano via a computer. This said, there is an amazing line: “Ima take her on a island, like Dubai.” Dubai is mentioned a few more times too. This is a great moment to be Dubai!
(Clickbait) Title: RIHANNA – WORK FEAT. DRAKE
Description: This is literally the same song as above but with almost 50K more views.
(Clickbait) Title: Rihanna – Work (Audio) ft. Drake
Description: This song is sung by a woman who very much, really, really sounds like Not Rihanna. The song even has this Not Rihanna going “Let me do my work, work, work, daddy.” It’s so impressive that this song was produced to sound like Rihanna but is Not Rihanna. Or maybe this is a Rihanna song that I don’t know about? This is impressive, nevertheless.
…and then you realize it is actually a Tinashe song and that Tinahse is just Rihanna if you squint your ears.
(Clickbait) Title: Rihanna – Work (ft Drake) Full Audio (ANTI Album) 2016
Description: This song sounds like one of those scary DMX raps where he yells a lot and you feel like he is an angry dad who is going to beat you because you failed your test at school. It does live up on the promise of being the “full audio” of the song because there are literally no words except for the instrumental for a horror rap song.
(Clickbait) Title: Rihanna- Work Ft Drake
Description: This video features no audio. It is 3:28 of silence. It is a powerful political and artistic statement with a hand painted “WORK” as the art. This person also posted this song literally seventeen times, with different variations on the name.