The First Gay Man On Earth

Today is Earth Day. While you might be choosing this day to come out as green and gay, I took this opportunity to dig into the history of Earth and men of our kind.

While the oldest gay man in the world is supposedly a 92 year old British dude, his age isn’t as big as a gay man who existed almost 3000 years ago. This man, this caveman, is supposedly the first known gay man on Earth.

According to ABC News in 2011 accompanied by some brilliant art, archeologists in the Czech Republic believe they found the oldest proof of both the gay lifestyle and subsequently the eldest gay man to have lived on the planet. Since all they have is a bag of bones, how do they know the body is gay? Funny enough, it was because he was left in a way that is typical of females.

The male skeleton was found on its side, facing east, and was surrounded by domestic jugs, objects previously seen only in female graves. An oval, egg-shaped container, usually associated with female burials, was also found at the feet of the skeleton.

“From history and ethnology, we know that people from this period took funeral rites very seriously, so it is highly unlikely that this positioning was a mistake,” lead archaeologist Kamila Remisova Vesinova told the U.K.’s Telegraph.

Men of the period were buried with weapons — stone battle axes and flint knives — none of which were found in the Czech grave.

See? This non-butch cave queen is our oldest elder!

No, this is not proof that this caveman was indeed gay and actually shines light that this person was ultimately very queer—and potentially transgender. Regardless of this person’s true identity, there were various representations of gender and sexual identity back in cave times which is a reminder that the good old days of B.C. were a bit more exciting than the P.C. present.

It’s a fascinating story, a bit of gay Earth history to connect you both to history and the planet our dick loving selves have roamed for centuries. Happy Earth Day, fags!

Photo via.

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