Christmas is a time to be happy and gay. But what are the gayest sounds of the season?
There are many and, because we all need some extra pep this troubling holiday season, here is a listing of a few of the gayest Christmas songs ever made. This list is in no way absolute and is surely missing many songs across time and space, in and out of queerness.
Enjoy! Make the yuletide gay by sucking it off or something!
Elton John’s “Step Into Christmas”
A forgotten holiday favorite, this jaunty Christmas tune is peak Elton coming out in 1973 as a single in between heavy hitters “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” and “Candle In The Wind.” Can you believe that? Elton, at his peak, went out on a limb and did a Christmas song that would go on to be a classic? This is so quaint and perfect.
Slink’s “Pink Christmas”
Slink was a seeming one-off union of gay acts Seth Bogart and SSION that came together in 2014 to make quite possibly the gayest Christmas song. It imagines the holiday donned in pink where Santa can send his “love” down on people like us. It’s over the top and campy and imagines Santa as a beefcake.
Melissa Etheridge’s “Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)”
This Etheridge song is a cover of the 1963 classic by Darlene Love. The song isn’t anything that eye-opening nor is it that spirited but it is the appropriate amount of lesbian folksy that you would expect from Mel.
Little Richard’s “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”
During a 1988 television special titled Rock’n’Roll Christmas, the flamboyant and precious Little Richard dedicated a song to all the “naughty people.” Why? Because Santa is coming soon. You so bad, Lil Rich!
*Nsync’s “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays”
This song is a terrible product of the late nineties and is mostly of interest because it features a closeted Lance Bass with his old nose. Want to kick up the gayness a good amount? Watch the group perform the song live on the Today show.
Liberace’s “The Christmas Show”
Not one to just do a song, Liberace redefined gay Christmas in 1953 with an entire show dedicated to his love of the holiday. While I haven’t watched the entire show (I refuse.), it is one of those gay forefather things that everyone should be aware of and proud of, even if we don’t indulge it.
The London Gay Men’s Chrous’ “Coming Out At Christmas”
There are likely ten thousand million gay chorus Christmas songs but this one by the London Gay Men’s Chorus touches on a special subject: coming out during the holidays. This is when I came out to my family and the song touches on how ridiculous the experience is. Perhaps this is the gayest holiday song of them all?
Big Freedia’s “Rudy, The Big Booty Reindeer” & “Santa Is A Gay Man“
Sike: Big Freedia actually made the gayest Christmas songs when they released their A Very Big Freedia Christmazz EP from earlier this month. The song features a lot of new holiday jams but opener “Rudy, The Big Booty Reindeer” turns the classic into a twerk jam and “Mr. Snowman” closer “Santa Is A Gay Man” is perhaps the faggiest holiday hymn ever sung as it’s all about fucking Santa, whoever he is. It even includes the lyrics, “I’d love to grab ahold of that belly and make it jiggle like a bowl of KY Jelly.” Yes, daddy.
Indigo Girls’ “There’s Still My Joy”
To bring us down a notch from Freedia are the Indigo Girls covering the Melissa Manchester holiday hymn sung by bereaved seasonally depressed mothers. It’s from their 2010 Christmas collection Holly Happy Days and, like Melissa Etheridge’s song, is exactly what you think it will be.
Wham!’s “Last Christmas”
Yes, this classic is a Christmas essential. It’s also soooo melodramatic and gay. Don’t forget it, people!!!!!
Mary Lambert’s “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
This sweet song by Macklemore’s number one lesbian funhouse is an extremely classic cover of the most nostalgic Christmas song ever. It’s also a reminder that Lambert is so slept on and is in need of some love from everyone. She is so extremely talented.
RuPaul’s “Nothing For Christmas”
While Ru has many, many Christmas releases at this point from her drag empire, this song captures Ru’s ethos quite nicely as she declares herself to be so bad and, therefore, getting nothing for Christmas. If your holiday is full of shame and repression, this song is for you.